Книга: Контекст жизни. Как научиться управлять привычками, которые управляют нами
Назад: Как управлять привычкой быть хорошим?
Дальше: Привычка (не) рисковать

Резюме

1. Мы можем спрашивать себя: «Для кого я сейчас стараюсь быть или выглядеть хорошим, частью какой группы являюсь, из каких побуждений действую?» Это поможет выбрать подходящий вариант поведения.
2. Иногда привычка быть хорошим мешает нашей или общей выгоде. Стоит рискнуть и оказаться не таким хорошим, чтобы получить больше или сделать вклад в общее дело.
3. Если в вас конфликтуют два понимания того, как быть хорошим, выбирайте более стратегическое – то, которое работает на более длительном отрезке времени. В долгосрочной перспективе честность обычно работает лучше, чем заметание сора под ковер.
4. Развивайте стыдоустойчивость. Постарайтесь снизить интенсивность переживаний в момент, когда вам очень стыдно. Вы можете попробовать подготовиться к стыду заранее, чтобы не «проваливаться сквозь землю». Говорите о своих переживаниях с теми, кто вас точно не осудит. Искренность лучше всего помогает смягчить стыд.
5. Научитесь ассертивности. Отстаивайте свои интересы, не уступайте, если не хотите. Быть хорошим необязательно значит быть паинькой!
6. Проверьте, действительно ли вы виноваты или ваше чувство вины преувеличено. Стоит отличать чей-то реальный дискомфорт или ущерб от ваших действий от собственного дискомфорта по поводу воображаемого чувства вины.
7. Намного легче, когда разные понимания «хорошего» не конфликтуют. Старайтесь жить и работать вместе с людьми, которые поддерживают ваши убеждения.
КЕЙС от участника нашего тренинга: честным быть выгодно!
Суть моей работы – продажи. Все свое рабочее время я рассказываю, как хорош наш продукт, как много проблем он решает, почему его обязательно надо купить. Сделка, о которой я собираюсь поведать, с самого начала выглядела странно. Началась она с телефонного звонка.
– Здравствуйте, мы хотим купить у вас оборудование…
Тут я должен сделать ремарку – это недешевое оборудование, специализированное. Обычно его долго обсуждают технически, технологически, финансово. Цикл сделки в среднем – месяцев шесть. А тут на тебе – хотим, и все!
– А как вы нас нашли? Почему именно это оборудование? – спрашиваю я.
– А мы тут каталоги посмотрели, сайт поизучали, да и рассказывали нам о вас.
– Хорошо, – говорю. – А что вы на нем собираетесь делать? Давайте я подъеду к вам на завод, посмотрю, поговорим, обсудим.
– Нет, – говорят, – не нужно.
Ну, не нужно так не нужно. Я стал забывать понемногу об этой истории. И вот проходит пара недель, и снова звонок.
– Приезжайте, обсудим детали контракта.
Приезжаю, меня встречают, ведут в кабинет.
– Мы вам покажем кое-какие детали, которые хотим делать. Вы посмотрите.
Я гляжу – мама дорогая! Не подходит станок под них. Совсем. Что-то можно сделать, но основную массу – нет. И я им аккуратно так пытаюсь об этом сказать. А они мне говорят:
– Решение уже обсуждено на высоком уровне, принято и согласовано. Не надо его пересматривать. Ведь можно что-то сделать и на этом станке?
– В принципе, конечно, да, – отвечаю я. – Но гораздо проще, эффективнее сделать это по-другому.
– Не нужно по-другому. Как мы решили, так и делайте.
И тут я понял, что эта продажа принесет скорее разочарование, чем пользу. И сразу в голове сформировалось три сценария.
Вариант первый – согласиться с выбором клиента. В конце концов, это их ответственность. Предупредить заранее, сказать важным людям «Вы делаете хорошее вложение», а потом в разговоре все-таки аккуратно обозначить проблемные места. Минус этого варианта в том, что я вынуждаю первых лиц признать, что они приняли неверное решение. А бюрократический механизм уже запущен, уже все об этом знают, и признаться в ошибке – крайне щекотливая история.
Вариант второй – не согласиться с выбором, указать на «узкие места» и предложить другое решение, настоять на нем. Тут минус в том, что таким образом можно испортить отношения и вообще потерять клиента раз и навсегда. Одно из главных правил продавца: время памяти о неудачной или некачественной покупке гораздо длиннее времени памяти о полученной при этом скидке. Памятуя об этом и понимая, что и первый, и второй варианты ведут к ненужному сопротивлению, я выбрал третий путь.
Лирическое отступление: в японской культуре есть такой момент – они никогда не говорят о сложном вопросе или проблеме прямо в лоб. Чем больше во фразе отрицательных частиц «не» или «ни», тем лучше, тем больше ценится такая фраза по шкале мудрости. И тут у меня всплыла в голове фраза, сказанная одним японским инженером при запуске сложного производственного комплекса: «Никогда не бывает так, чтобы не было ни одной проблемы». Средняя, скажу вам, по шкале крутости фраза. Но согласитесь, звучит куда интереснее, чем просто «У нас есть проблема». Так что ее я применяю гораздо чаще.
Так вот, я принял решение выйти из контракта, то есть предпринять мягкие усилия, чтобы контракт не был заключен, с помощью этой самой сентенции. Решил быть честным с клиентом. На тренинге «Контекст» мы говорили о целостности, честности и концепции win-win. Это согласовывалось с моей внутренней позицией. Я решил быть «за клиента» и выложиться в этом до последнего. Задача была не из простых: не заключить контракт, сохранив хорошие отношения. Парадоксальная ситуация для продажника, но это действительно было моей целью.
Я стал рассказывать, какие проблемы ждут завод, если они купят у меня это оборудование. Благо опыт внедрения таких станков у меня большой, и все эти проблемы я знаю не понаслышке, прошел через них. И вот я начал честно, увлеченно, в красках уговаривать их не покупать станок, рассказывать о предстоящих проблемах: и о некачественном материале, и о низкой квалификации персонала, и о поломках и отказах, и о больших затратах на эксплуатацию, и о долгих наладках и возможных ошибках.
Удивительно, но чем больше я рассказывал о проблемах, тем больше народу вовлекалось в процесс разговора, тем азартнее и оживленнее шло обсуждение. Эффект оказался совершенно противоположным ожидаемому. Сказать, что я был поражен, – не сказать ничего. Представьте сами:
● я приехал на завод с призрачной надеждой продать оборудование;
● я понял, что продажа принесет больше проблем, чем пользы, и решил не совершать ее;
● я поставил себе цель быть честным с клиентом и НЕ заключить контракт, рассказав обо всех возможных проблемах, но сохранив при этом взаимоотношения для будущей работы.
То, что произошло дальше, я назвал для себя «метаморфоза открытости». Первые полчаса я разговаривал с одним человеком. Потом подключился второй, третий, дальше меня повели к начальнику производства, затем – к главному технологу. И вот по прошествии шести часов я сижу в кабинете второго человека на заводе, и мы переходим к обсуждению возможного большого проекта. А тут речь идет о цифрах с восемью нулями. Совсем другой расклад получился по сравнению с тем, с чего все начиналось. И какую здесь роль сыграло мое небезразличие или же это было просто везение, сейчас уже сложно сказать.
Такая вот необычная история, которая началась с моей решимости быть честным с клиентом даже в ущерб себе, а обернулась крупной победой.
Назад: Как управлять привычкой быть хорошим?
Дальше: Привычка (не) рисковать

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