Примечания

Предисловие

. Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures, 2nd edition, Berkeley 2009.

. TEDxJaff a — Daphna Joel — Are brains male or female? 2012.

Глава I

. Carrie Jenkins, What love is and what it could be, 2017, kindle edition, location 1156.

. Olivia Judson, Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation: Deﬁnitive Guide to the Evolutionary Biology of Sex, London 2002, p. 152; Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha, Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, Harper, 2010.

. Ryne Palombit, "Extra-pair copulations in a monogamous ape", Animal Behaviour, 47:3, 1994, pp. 721–723; Ulrich Reichard, "Extra-pair Copulations in a Monogamous Gibbon", Ethology, Vol. 100, Issue 2, January — December 1995, pp. 99–112.

. "Animal Attraction: The Many Forms of Monogamy in the Animal Kingdom",

. David P. Barash and Judith Eve Lipton, The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Inﬁdelity in Animals and People, New York 2001, p. 12.

. См., например: Ken Kraaĳeveld et al., "Extra-pair paternity does not result in differential sexual selection in the mutually ornamented black swan (Cygnus atratus)", Molecular Biology, June 2004, Vol. 13, Issue 6, pp. 1625–1633.

. Miranda M. Lim et al., "Enhanced partner preference in a promiscuous species by manipulating the expression of a single gene", Nature, 2004, 429, pp. 754–757; Alexander G. Ophir et al., "Social but not genetic monogamy is associated with greater breeding success in prairie voles", Animal Behaviour, 2008, pp. 1–12; Larry J. Youn, " The Neural Basis of Pair Bonding in a Monogamous Species: A Model for Understanding the Biological Basis of Human Behavior", in Offspring Human Fertility Behavior in Biodemographic Perspective, 2003.

. Derek E. Wildman et al., "Implications of natural selection in shaping 99.4% nonsynonymous DNA identity between humans and chimpanzees: Enlarging genus Homo", PNAS, 2003, Vol. 100, No. 12, pp. 7181–7188.

. Christopher Ryan, ibid.

. Olivia Judson, ibid, pp. 18–20.

. Zoe E. Squires et all, "Last male sperm precedence in a polygamous squid", Biological Journal of the Linnean Society 12.06.2015.

. Christopher Ryan, ibid.

. Christopher Ryan, ibid, p. 230.

. Mary Jane Sherfey, The Nature and Evolution of Female Sexuality, New York 1972. Cited in: Ryan, Christopher; Jetha, Cacilda, ibid, p. 234.

. Virginia Morell, "A New Look at Monogamy", Science, 1998, Vol. 281 (5385), pp. 1982–1983; James Maikle, "One in 24 Fathers is not biological parent-study", The Guardian, 11.8.2005:

. Steven W. Gangestad et al., "Changes in women's mate preferences across the ovulatory cycle", Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2007, Vol. 92, pp. 151–163; C. M. Larson et al., "Changes in women's feelings about their romantic relationships across the ovulatory cycle", Hormones and Behavior, 2013, Vol. 63, No. 1, pp. 128–135.

. Dietrich Klusmann, "Sperm Competition and Female Procurement of Male Resources As Explanations for a Sexpeciﬁc Time Course in the Sexual Motivation of Couples", Human Nature, Fall 2006, Vol. 17, No. 3, pp. 283–300; Dietrich Klusmann, "Sexual Motivation and the Duration of Partnership", Archives of Sexual Behavior, June 2002, Vol. 31, No. 3, pp. 276–287.

. Meredith L. Chivers et al., "Agreement of Self-Reported and Genital Measures of Sexual Arousal in Men and Women: A Meta-Analysis", Archives of Sexual Behavior, February 2010, Vol. 39, No. 1, pp. 5–56.

. Michele. G. Alexander and Terri D. Fisher, "Truth and consequences: Using the bogus pipeline to examine sex differences in self-reported sexuality", The Journal of Sex Research, 2003, Vol. 40, pp. 27–35.

. Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha, ibid, p. 85.

. Lise VanderVoort and Steve Duck, "Sex, Lies, and…Transformation", in Jean Duncombe et al. (eds.), The State of Affairs: Explorations in Inﬁdelity and Commitment, New York 2014, pp. 1–14.

. Alfred Kinsey et al., Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, Bloomington 1948, pp. 585, 587; Alfred Kinsey et al., Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, Bloomington 1953, p. 416.

. Joan D. Atwood and Limor Schwartz, "Cyber-Sex: The New Affair Treatment Considerations", Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 2002, Vol. 1, Issue 3, pp. 37–56; Murty Komanduri S. and Vyas Ashwin G., "Monogamy", in Encyclopedia of Anthropology, H. James Brix (ed.), London 2006, pp. 1618–1619.

. Peggy Vaughan, The Monogamy Myth, New York 2003.

. Katherine Frank and John DeLamater, "Deconstructing Monogamy Boundaries, Identities, and Fluidities across Relationships", Understanding Non-Monogamies, New York and Oxon 2010, pp. 9–22.

. Helen Fisher, Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love, New York 2012, pp. 77–78.

. Helen Fisher, Ted talk "Why we love why we cheat", 2006.

. Jenkins, Carrie. What Love Is: And What It Could Be (Kindle Locations 1474–1477). Basic Books. Kindle Edition.

. Carrie Jenkins, ibid, location 2200.

. Rafael Wlodarski et al., "Stay or Stray? Evidence for Alternative Mating Strategy Phenotypes in Both Men and Women", Biology Letters, February 2015, Vol. 11, No. 2.

. The Kinsey Scale, Kinsey institute, Indiana University.

. Cited in Victoria Robinson, "My Baby Just Cares For Me: Feminism, Heterosexuality and Non-Monogamy", Journal of Gender Studies, Vol. 6, 2, 1997, pp. 143–157 (p.150).

. Yuval Noah Harari, Homo Deus: A Brief History of Tomorrow, London, 2016, p. 175.

. Bateman, A. J., "Intra-sexual selection in Drosophila", Heredity, 2, 1948, pp. 349–368.

. Judson, Olivia. Ibid, (p. 12).

Глава II

. Jack Goody, Production and Reproduction: A Comparative Study of the Domestic Domain, Cambridge 1994, p. 51.

. Ethnographic Atlas Codebook, derived from George P. Murdok, Ethnographic Atlas.

. David P. Barash and Judith Eve Lipton, ibid.

. Stephanie Coontz, Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage, London 2006, p. 38.

. Robert S. Walker et al., "Evolutionary History of Partible Paternity in Lowland South America", Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 2010, Vol. 107, No. 45, pp. 19195–19200.

. More on that fascinating culture see the video: The Women's Kingdom — PBS FRONTLINE Broadcast.

. David H. J. Morgan, "The Sociological Signiﬁcance of Affairs", in Jean Duncombe and Kaeren Harrison (eds.), The State of Affairs: Explorations in inﬁdelity and Commitment, New York 2014, pp. 15–34.

. Friedrich Engels, The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State, 1884 Full text:

. Isabelle Dupanloup et al., "A recent shift from polygyny to monogamy in humans is suggested by the analysis of worldwide Y-chromosome diversity", Journal of Molecular Evolution, July 2003, Vol. 57, No. 1, pp. 85–97.

. Adiel Schremer, "How Much Jewish Polygyny in Roman Palestine?", Proceedings of the American Academy for Jewish Research, 1997–2001, Vol. 63, pp. 181–223.

. Kevin MacDonald, "Mechanisms of Sexual Egalitarianism in Western Europe", Ethology and Sociobiology, 1990, Vol. 11, No. 3, pp. 195–238.

. Demosphenes, Against Neaera, 122.

. Amel Larrieux, Make me whole.

. Alain de Botton: On Love.

. Dan Savage, "The 3 Things We Get Wrong About Sex, Love & Monogamy",

. Pope Gregory the great, Book of Pastoral Care, Vol. 3, Admonition 28.

. Johann Burchard, Pope Alexander VI and His Court: Extracts from the Latin Diary of Johannes Burchardus, 1921, F. L. Glaser, ed., New York, N. L. Brown, pp. 154–155.

Глава III

. Юваль Ной Харари. Homo Deus. Краткая история будущего. — М.: Синдбад, 2018.

. Coontz, Stephanie. Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

. Bertrand Russell, Marriage and Morals, 1929.

. Eli Finkel, The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work, New York 2017.

. Kevin MacDonald, ibid.

. Holly Furneaux, "Victorian Sexualities", 2014, British Library site.

. Rachel P. Maines, The Technology of Orgasm: "Hysteria", the Vibrator, and Women's Sexual Satisfaction, Baltimore and London 2001.

. Esther Perel, The State of Affairs: Rethinking Inﬁdelity, New York 2017, p. 43.

. Coontz, Stephanie. ibid (p. 247).

. Emma Goldman, 1914, On Marriage and Love.

. M. L. Haupert et al., "Prevalence of Experiences with Consensual Nonmonogamous Relationships: Findings From Two National Samples of Single Americans", Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, April 2016, pp. 424–440.

. Young Americans are less wedded to monogamy than their elders",

. Eva Illouz, " Don't Be My Valentine: Are Couples Becoming a Thing of the Past?, Haaretz, Feb 14, 2013.

. Bettina Arndt, The Sex Diaries: Why Women Go Off Sex and Other Bedroom Battles, 2010.

. Dietrich Klusmann, "Sperm Competition and Female Procurement of Male Resources As Explanations for a Sex-Speciﬁc Time Course in the Sexual Motivation of Couples", Human Nature, Fall 2006, Vol. 17, No. 3, pp. 283–300.

. Gabriel Bukobza, "The drama of new masculinity", 2017, p. 140 (Hebrew).

. Bettina Arndt, ibid.

. Edward O. Laumann et al., "Sexual disfunction in the United States", The Journal of the American Medical Association, Vol. 281, No. 6, p. 537.

. Ali Aiegler et al., "Does Monogamy Harm Women? Deconstructing Monogamy with a Feminist Lens", Journal für Psychologie, 22.1.2014.

. Elisabeth Sheff, "Polyamorous women, sexual subjectivity and power", Journal of Contemporary Ethnography, Vol. 34, Issue 3, pp. 251–283.

. Tamar Mor Sela, Erot (Awaken), 2017 (Hebrew).

. V. Michelle Russella et al., "The association between discontinuing hormonal contraceptives and wives' marital satisfaction depends on husbands' facial attractiveness", PNAS, 2014, Vol. 111, No. 48, pp. 17081–17086; Alexandra Alvergne and Virpi Lummaa, "Does the contraceptive pill alter mate choice in humans?", Trends in Ecology and Evolution, 2010, Vol. 25, No. 3, pp. 171–179.

. Nagoski, Emily. Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life. Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.

. Melissa R. Fales et al., "Mating markets and bargaining hands: Mate preferences for attractiveness and resources in two national U. S. studies", Personality and Individual Differences, January 2016, Vol. 88, pp. 78–87.

. Cynthia A. Graham et al.,"What factors are associated with reporting lacking interest in sex and how do these vary by gender? Findings from the third British national survey of sexual attitudes and lifestyle", BMJ Open, September 2017, Vol. 7, issue ; Dietrich Klusmann, 2006, ibid. Dietrich Klusmann, 2006, ibid.

. Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity, 2006, kindle edition.

. Jack Morin, The Erotic Mind, 1995.

. Esther Perel, The State of Affairs, p. 185.

. Leanna Phyllis Wolfe, Jealousy and Transformation in Polyamorous Relationships, Phd, The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality San Francisco, California, June 24, 2003.

. Dan Savage & Esther Perel, "Love, Marriage & Monogamy", Talks at Google.

. Dan Savage & Esther Perel, "Love, Marriage & Monogamy", ibid.

. Abraham. H. Maslow, A Theory of Human Motivation, 2012, Kindle edition.

. Eli Finkel, ibid.

. Susan Dominus, "Is an open marriage a happier marriage?", New York Times, May 11, 2017.

. Esther Perel, The State of Affairs, p. 165.

. Dan Savage & Esther Perel: "Love, Marriage & Monogamy", ibid.

. Dan Savage, "The 3 Things We Get Wrong About Sex, Love & Monogam", ibid.

Глава IV

. David A. Frederick and Melissa R. Fales, "Upset Over Sexual versus Emotional Inﬁdelity Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Adults", Archives of Sexual Behavior, January 2016, Vol. 45, Issue 1, pp. 175–191.

. Richard Wike, "French more accepting of infidelity than people in other countries, January 14, 2014.

. For those who wish to delve deeper into this, Esther Perel's book "The State of Affairs" provides a more expansive and challenging survey of the circumstances that lead to affairs (as well as of the experience of the person cheated on).

. Sigmund Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents, James Strachey (trans.), Kindle edition, locations 943–1000.

. Dan Savage, "Meet the Monogamish", Savage Love,

. Jessica Burde, Polyamory and Pregnancy, 2013.

. Leehee Rothschild, Compulsory monogamy and polyamorous existence, M. A. Thesis, Ben Gurion University, 2015, p.12.

. Robert J. Sternberg, "A Triangular Theory of Love", Psychological Review, 1986, Vol. 93, No. 2, pp. 119–135.

. Patrick Clarking, "Wrapping up the (Blank) — ogamous Series", 21.04.2016.

. Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux, More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory, Portland 2014, pp. 25–26.

Глава V

. Leehee Rothschild, "Compulsory Monogamy and Polyamorous Existence", Graduate Journal of Social Science January, 2018, Vol. 14, Issue 1, pp. 28–56.

. Kristine Phillips, "He was arrested for a sex act that's no longer a crime. Years later, he remains convicted, The Washington Post, February 15, 2018.

. Phillip Rawls, "Court leaves Ala. Sex toy ban intact", USA today,

. Carrie Jenkins, ibid, location 2257.

. Jonathan A. Porter, "L'Amour for Four: Polygyny, Polyamory, and the State's Compelling Economic Interest in Normative Monogamy", Emory Law Journal, 2015, Vol. 64, Issue 6, pp. 2093–2139.

. Carrie Jenkins, ibid.

. Leehee Rothschild, Compulsory monogamy and polyamorous existence, M. A. Thesis, Ben Gurion University, 2015, pp. 93–90.

. Rothschild, ibid.

. Leanna Phyllis Wolfe, ibid.

. Justin J. Lehmiller, "A Comparison of Sexual Health History and Practices among Monogamous and Consensually Nonmonogamous Sexual Partners", Journal of Sexual Medicine, October 2015, Vol. 12, No. 10, pp. 2022–2028; Terri D. Conley et al., "Unfaithful individuals are less likely to practice safer sex than openly non-monogamous individuals", Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2012, Vol. 9, pp. 1559–1565.

. Rhonda N. Balzarini et all., " Eroticism Versus Nurturance. How Eroticism and Nurturance Differs in Polyamorous and Monogamous Relationships", Social Psychology, April 2019.

. Alicia N. Rubel and Anthony F. Bogaert, "Consensual nonmonogamy: Psychological well-being and relationship quality correlates", Journal of Sex Research, November 2015, Vol. 52, No. 9, pp. 961–982.

. Arline M. Rubin and James R. Adams, "Outcomes of Sexually Open Marriages", The Journal of Sex Research, August 1986, Vol. 22, No. 3, pp. 311–319.

. Rhonda Balzarini et all., "Demographic comparison of American individuals in polyamorous and monogamous relationships", The Journal of Sex Research, 2018, pp. 1–14.

. Ian Baker, "Growing up poor with three parents: how non-monogamy helped me to escape a life of poverty".

. Jacquelyn J. Knapp, "An exploratory study of seventeen sexually open marriages", Journal of Sex Research, 1976, Vol. 12, pp. 206–219; Mary Ann Watson, "Sexually Open Marriage: Three Perspectives", Alternative Lifestyles, 1981, Vol. 4, No. 1, pp. 3–21; Geri Weitzman et al., "What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory", NCSF, 2009–2010. ; Rhea Orion, A Therapist's Guide to Consensual Nonmonogamy: Polyamory, Swinging, and Open Marriages, 2018.

. Amy Gahran, Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life, 2017, kindle edition, locations 98–165.

Глава VI

. Dorothy Tennov, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. kindle edition, pp.23–24.

. Helen Fisher, Why We Love, p. 182, kindle edition.

. Dorothy Tennov, ibid, p. 16.

. William Jankowiak and Helen Gerth, "Can You Love More Than One Person at the Same Time? A Research Report", Anthropologica, 2012, Vol. 54, No. 1, pp. 95–105.

. Tenzin Palmo Jetsunma — The Difference between Genuine Love and Attachment,

. Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski On Love.

. Alain de Botton: On Love, ibid.

. Cunning Minx, Eight Things I Wish I'd Known About Polyamory: Before I Tried It and Frakked It Up, 2014.

. Dorothy Tennov, ibid, pp.127–8.

Глава VII

. Peppermint, "Jealousy and Control", unpublished manuscript, 2003–2006,

. Anita Wagner, Making Peace with Jealousy in Polyamorous Relationships, 2010.

. Rod Preston-Mafham and Ken Preston-Mafham, The Encyclopedia of Land Invertebrate Behaviour, 1993, p. 58.

. Ralph B. Hupka, "Cultural Determinants of Jealousy", Alternative Lifestyles, August 1981, Vol. 4, Issue 3, pp. 310–356.

. Ralph B. Hupka and James M. Ryan, "The Cultural Contribution to Jealousy: Cross-Cultural Aggression in Sexual Jealousy Situations", Behavior Science Research, 1990, p. 54.

. France: Penal Code of 1810, article 324.

. Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux, Polyamory and Jealousy: A More Than Two Essentials Guide, Portland 2016.

. Anita Wagner, Making Peace with Jealousy in Polyamorous Relationships.

. Malka Feldstein, The Naked Truth, 2017 (Hebrew).

. Kathy Labriola, The Jealousy Workbook: exercise and insights for managing open relationships, 2013, kindle edition.

. Leonie Linssen and Stephan Wik, Love Unlimited, Scotland 2010, pp. 22–26.

. Dossie Easton, "Making Friends with Jealousy: Therapy with Polyamorous Clients", in Meg Barker and Darren Langdridge (eds.), Understanding Non-Monogamies, New York and Oxon 2010, pp. 207–211.

. NVC Marshall Rosenberg — San Francisco Workshop,