Примечания

Введение

«Никто никогда не говорил мне»: C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed (New York: Harper & Row, 1961).

многие дети, потеряв одного из родителей: См., например: Timothy J. Biblarz and Greg Gottainer, "Family Structure and Children's Success: A Comparison of Widowed and Divorced Single-Mother Families," Journal of Marriage and Family 62 (2000): 533–48; Kenneth S. Kendler, Michael C. Neale, Ronald C. Kessler, et al., "Childhood Parental Loss and Adult Psychopathology in Women: A Twin Study Perspective," Archives of General Psychiatry 49 (1992): 109–16; Jane D. McLeod, "Childhood Parental Loss and Adult Depression," Journal of Health and Social Behavior 32 (1991): 205–20.

больше половины людей, потерявших спутника жизни: George A. Bonanno, Camille B. Wortman, Darrin R. Lehman, et al., "Resilience to Loss and Chronic Grief: A Prospective Study from Preloss to 18-Months Postloss," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 83 (2002): 1150–64. For further evidence, see George A. Bonanno, The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss (New York: Basic Books, 2010).

Чтобы добиться перемен завтра: См.: Geoff DeVerteuil and Oleg Golubchikov, "Can Resilience Be Redeemed?," City: Analysis of Urban Trends, Culture, Theory, Policy, Action 20 (2016): 143–51; Markus Keck and Patrick Sakdapolrak, "What Is Social Resilience? Lessons Learned and Ways Forward," Erdkunde 67 (2013): 5–19.

1. Снова дышать

«Должен продолжать»: Samuel Beckett, The Unnamable (New York: Grove Press, 1958).

мешают так называемые три «П»: См.: Steven F. Maier and Martin E. P. Seligman, "Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience," Psychological Review 123 (2016): 349–67; Martin E. P. Seligman, Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life (New York: Pocket Books, 1991).

снижает вероятность возникновения депрессии: См.: Tracy R. G. Gladstone and Nadine J. Kaslow, "Depression and Attributions in Children and Adolescents: A Meta-Analytic Review," Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 23 (1995): 597–606.

учителя городских и сельских школ: Angela Lee Duckworth, Patrick D. Quinn, and Martin E. P. Seligman, "Positive Predictors of Teacher Effectiveness," The Journal of Positive Psychology 4 (2009): 540–47.

Полезно это оказалось и для спортсменов: Martin E. P. Seligman, Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Nort Thornton, and Karen Moe Thornton, "Explanatory Style as a Mechanism of Disappointing Athletic Performance," Psychological Science 1 (1990): 143–46.

верно и для страховых агентов: Martin E. P. Seligman and Peter Schulman, "Explanatory Style as a Predictor of Productivity and Quitting Among Life Insurance Sales Agents," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 50 (1986): 832–38.

большинство жертв винит себя: Matt J. Gray, Jennifer E. Pumphrey, and Thomas W. Lombardo, "The Relationship Between Dispositional Pessimistic Attributional Style Versus Trauma-Specific Attributions and PTSD Symptoms," Journal of Anxiety Disorders 17 (2003): 289–303; Ronnie Janoff-Bulman, "Characterological Versus Behavioral Self-Blame: Inquiries into Depression and Rape," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 37 (1979): 1798–809.

не сходило у меня с языка: Женщины склонны извиняться чаще, чем мужчины. См.: Karina Schumann and Michael Ross, "Why Women Apologize More than Men: Gender Differences in Thresholds for Perceiving Offensive Behavior," Psychological Science 21 (2010): 1649–55; Jarrett T. Lewis, Gilbert R. Parra, and Robert Cohen, "Apologies in Close Relationships: A Review of Theory and Research," Journal of Family Theory and Review 7 (2015): 47–61.

Лишь 60% работников частного бизнеса: Robert W. Van Giezen, "Paid Leave in Private Industry over the Past 20 Years," U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Beyond the Numbers 2 (2013): www.bls.gov/opub/btn/volume-2/paid-leave-in-private-industry-over-the-past-20-years.htm. Неприемлемо, что в Соединенных Штатах родителям дают двенадцать недель отпуска при рождении ребенка, но только три дня в случае его смерти и почти 30% матерей не получают оплачиваемого отпуска. См.: http://scholars.unh.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article
=1170&context=carsey. Определение оплачиваемого отпуска см. в: Kristin Smith and Andrew Schaefer, "Who Cares for the Sick Kids? Parents' Access to Paid Time to Care for a Sick Child," Carsey Institute Issue Brief #51 (2012), по состоянию на 16 декабря 2016 г.: http://scholars.unh.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article
=1170&context=carsey.

пережитое не дает им трудиться результативно: Jane E. Dutton, Kristina M. Workman, and Ashley E. Hardin, "Compassion at Work," Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior 1 (2014): 277–304.

потери продуктивности, связанные с личными трагедиями: Darlene Gavron Stevens, "The Cost of Grief," Chicago Tribune, August 20, 2003: http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2003-08-20/
business/0308200089_1_pet-loss-grief-emotions.

Для компаний разумный подход к здравоохранению: James H. Dulebohn, Janice C. Molloy, Shaun M. Pichler, and Brian Murray, "Employee Benefits: Literature Review and Emerging Issues," Human Resource Management Review 19 (2009): 86–103. См. также: Alex Edmans, "The Link Between Job Satisfaction and Firm Value, with Implications for Corporate Social Responsibility," Academy of Management Perspectives 26 (2012): 1–19; James K. Harter, Frank L. Schmidt, and Theodore L. Hayes, "Business-Unit-Level Relationship Between Employee Satisfaction, Employee Engagement, and Business Outcomes: A Meta-Analysis," Journal of Applied Psychology 87 (2002): 268–79.

Исследования «аффективного прогнозирования»: Daniel T. Gilbert, Elizabeth C. Pinel, Timothy D. Wilson, and Stephen J. Blumberg, "Immune Neglect: A Source of Durability Bias in Affective Forecasting," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 75 (1998): 617–38.

люди переоценивают негативное влияние: Timothy D. Wilson and Daniel T. Gilbert, "Affective Forecasting: Knowing What to Want," Current Directions in Psychological Science 14 (2005): 131–34; Daniel T. Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness (New York: Knopf, 2006).

Младшие профессора университета предполагают: Gilbert et al., "Immune Neglect."

Студенты думают, что будут несчастны: Elizabeth W. Dunn, Timothy D. Wilson, and Daniel T. Gilbert, "Location, Location, Location: The Misprediction of Satisfaction in Housing Lotteries," Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 29 (2003): 1421–32.

методику когнитивной поведенческой терапии: См.: Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy: www.beckinstitute.org.

«Часть любого страдания»: C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed (New York: Harper & Row, 1961).

«начинаем дружить с нашими демонами»: Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Boston: Shambhala, 1997).

полезно представить, насколько хуже все могло бы быть: Alex M. Wood, Jeffrey J. Froh, and Adam W. A. Geraghty, "Gratitude and Well-Being: A Review and Theoretical Integration," Clinical Psychology Review 30 (2010): 890–905; Laura J. Kray, Katie A. Liljenquist, Adam D. Galinsky, et al., "From What Might Have Been to What Must Have Been: Counterfactual Thinking Creates Meaning," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 98 (2010): 106–18; Karl Halvor Teigen, "Luck, Envy, and Gratitude: It Could Have Been Different," Scandinavian Journal of Psychology 38 (1997): 313–23; Minkyung Koo, Sara B. Algoe, Timothy D. Wilson, and Daniel T. Gilbert, "It's a Wonderful Life: Mentally Subtracting Positive Events Improves People's Affective States, Contrary to Their Affective Forecasts," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 95 (2008): 1217–24.

Психологи предложили группе людей каждую неделю составлять список: Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, "Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 84 (2003): 377–89.

Те, кто начал работать: Emily C. Bianchi, "The Bright Side of Bad Times: The Affective Advantages of Entering the Workforce in a Recession," Administrative Science Quarterly 58 (2013): 587–623.

В России каждый второй: World Bank Group, "The Russian Economy Inches Forward: Will That Suffice to Turn the Tide?," (Washington, D.C.: 2016).

60% американцев сталкивались в своей жизни с событиями: "Americans' Financial Security: Perception and Reality," The Pew Charitable Trusts, по состоянию на 14 декабря 2016 г.: www.pewtrusts.org/en/research-and-analysis/issue-briefs/2015/02/americans-financial-security-perceptions-and-reality.

Смерть партнера часто влечет: Mariko Lin Chang, Shortchanged: Why Women Have Less Wealth and What Can Be Done About It (New York: Oxford University Press, 2010).

к этому добавляются материальные трудности: Alicia H. Munnell and Nadia S. Karamcheva, "Why Are Widows So Poor?," Center for Retirement Research at Boston College Brief IB#7-9, по состоянию на 14 декабря 2016 г.: http://crr.bc.edu/briefs/why-are-widows-so-poor/.

2. Гоните слона из комнаты

«друг, не задающий вопросов»: Tim Urban, "10 Types of Odd Friendships You're Probably Part Of," Wait but Why, December 2014: http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/12/10-types-odd-friendships-youre-probably-part.html. Доказательства того, что люди больше нравятся окружающим, когда задают больше вопросов, см. в: Karen Huang, Mike Yeomans, Alison Wood Brooks, et al., "It Doesn't Hurt to Ask: Question-Asking Encourages Self-Disclosure and Increases Liking," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

«Наш ребенок умирает снова»: Mitch Carmody, цит. по: Linton Weeks, "Now We Are Alone: Living On Without Our Sons," All Things Considered, NPR, September 3, 2010: www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId
=128977776.

термин «эффект мумии»: Sidney Rosen and Abraham Tesser, "On Reluctance to Communicate Undesirable Information: The MUM Effect," Sociometry 33 (1970): 253–63.

Доктора не хотят говорить: Joshua D. Margolis and Andrew Molinsky, "Navigating the Bind of Necessary Evils: Psychological Engagement and the Production of Interpersonally Sensitive Behavior," Academy of Management Journal 51 (2008): 847–72; Jayson L. Dibble, "Breaking Bad News in the Provider-Recipient Context: Understanding the Hesitation to Share Bad News from the Sender's Perspective," in Medical Communication in Clinical Contexts, ed. Benjamin Bates and Rukhsana Ahmed (Dubuque, IA: Kendall Hunt Publishing, 2012). См. также: Walter F. Baile, Robert Buckman, Renato Lenzi, et al., "SPIKES — A Six-Step Protocol for Delivering Bad News: Application to the Patient with Cancer," The Oncologist 5 (2000): 302–311.

болезненный удар током: Timothy D. Wilson, David A. Reinhard, Erin C. Westgate, et al., "Just Think: The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind," Science 345 (2014): 75–77.

психологи так и называют их — «вскрыватели»: Lynn C. Miller, John H. Berg, and Richard L. Archer, "Openers: Individuals Who Elicit Intimate Self-Disclosure," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 44 (1983): 1234–44.

Люди, сами пережившие тяжелые события, часто проявляют: Daniel Lim and David DeSteno, "Suffering and Compassion: The Links Among Adverse Life Experiences, Empathy, Compassion, and Prosocial Behavior," Emotion 16 (2016): 175–82. При этом справившиеся с последствиями тяжелого события, видя, как другие не в состоянии этого сделать, могут оказаться не столь отзывчивы: Rachel L. Ruttan, Mary-Hunter McDonnell, and Loran F. Nordgren, "Having 'Been There' Doesn't Mean I Care: When Prior Experience Reduces Compassion for Emotional Distress," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 108 (2015): 610–22.

«те, кто видит друг у друга»: Anna Quindlen, "Public and Private: Life After Death," The New York Times, May 4, 1994: www.nytimes.com/1994/05/04/opinion/public-private-life-after-death.html.

Ветераны войн, жертвы насилия и родители: Darrin R. Lehman, John H. Ellard, and Camille B. Wortman, "Social Support for the Bereaved: Recipients' and Providers' Perspectives on What Is Helpful," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 54 (1986): 438–46.

В Китае и Японии идеальным эмоциональным состоянием: Jeanne L. Tsai, "Ideal Affect: Cultural Causes and Behavioral Conse­quences," Perspectives on Psychological Science 2 (2007): 242–59.

«по стандартам американской культуры»: David Caruso, цит. по: Julie Beck, "How to Get Better at Expressing Emotions," The Atlantic, November 18, 2015: www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/11/how-to-get-better-at-expressing-emotions/416493/.

«шепот снаружи»: Quindlen, "Public and Private."

Я излила душу в посте: Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook post, June 3, 2015: www.facebook.com/sheryl/posts/
10155617891025177:0.

откровенный разговор о тяжелых событиях: Обзор см. в: James W. Pennebaker and Joshua M. Smyth, Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain (New York: Guilford, 2016). Больше подробностей в главе 4.

люди нетрадиционной ориентации, вышедшие из семей иммигрантов: Anthony C. Ocampo, "The Gay Second Generation: Sexual Identity and the Family Relations of Filipino and Latino Gay Men," Journal of Ethnic and Migration Studies 40 (2014): 155–73; Anthony C. Ocampo, "Making Masculinity: Negotiations of Gender Presentation Among Latino Gay Men," Latino Studies 10 (2012): 448–72.

«Худшим было одиночество и та изоляция»: Emily McDowell, цит. по: Kristin Hohendal, "A Cancer Survivor Designs the Cards She Wishes She'd Received from Friends and Family," The Eye, May 6, 2015: www.slate.com/blogs/the_eye/2015/05/06/
empathy_cards_by_emily_mcdowell_are_greeting
_cards_designed_for_cancer_patients.html.

Эмили придумала «карточки эмпатии»: http://emilymcdowell.com/. См. также: Kelsey Crowe and Emily McDowell, There Is No Good Card for This: What to Say and Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love (New York: HarperOne, 2017).

«Когда в вашей жизни случается трагедия»: Tim Lawrence, "8 Simple Words to Say When Someone You Love Is Grieving," Upworthy, December 17, 2015: www.upworthy.com/8-simple-words-to-say-when-when-someone-you-love-is-grieving.

3. Платиновое правило дружбы

классические эксперименты с громким шумом: David C. Glass and Jerome Singer, "Behavioral Consequences of Adaptation to Controllable and Uncontrollable Noise," Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 7 (1971): 244–57; David C. Glass and Jerome E. Singer, "Experimental Studies of Uncontrollable and Unpredictable Noise," Representative Research in Social Psychology 4 (1973): 165–83.

Когда люди страдают, им нужна кнопка: Brian R. Little, Me, Myself, and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being (New York: Public Affairs, 2014).

Есть два типа эмоциональных реакций: C. Daniel Batson, Jim Fultz, and Patricia A. Schoenrade, "Distress and Empathy: Two Qualitatively Distinct Vicarious Emotions with Different Motivational Consequences," Journal of Personality 55 (1987): 19–39.

«Одни друзья каждый день заходили»: Allen Rucker, The Best Seat in the House: How I Woke Up One Tuesday and Was Paralyzed for Life (New York: HarperCollins, 2007).

В одном эксперименте людям предлагали: Loran F. Nordgren, Mary-Hunter McDonnell, and George Loewenstein, "What Constitutes Torture? Psychological Impediments to an Objective Evaluation of Enhanced Interrogation Tactics," Psychological Science 22 (2011): 689–94.

следовать платиновому правилу: этот термин приписывается многим источникам. Одно из лучших его описаний дано в работе Карла Поппера: «Золотое правило — это хороший стандарт, который, возможно, стоило бы улучшить: если это возможно, поступайте с другими так, как они сами поступили бы с собой»: Karl Popper, The Open Society and Its Enemies, vol. 2 (New York: Routledge, 1945/1966).

«Несмотря на лучшие намерения, такой жест»: Bruce Feiler, "How to Be a Friend in Deed," The New York Times, February 6, 2015: www.nytimes.com/2015/02/08/style/how-to-be-a-friend-in-deed.html.

«Какие-то вещи в жизни невозможно исправить»: Megan Devine, Refuge in Grief: Emotionally Intelligent Grief Support, по состоянию на 14 декабря 2016 г.: www.refugeingrief.com/.

Психологи помещали девочек-подростков в стрессовую ситуацию: Jessica P. Lougheed, Peter Koval, and Tom Hollenstein, "Sharing the Burden: The Interpersonal Regulation of Emotional Arousal in Mother-Daughter Dyads," Emotion 16 (2016): 83–93.

разработала «теорию колец»: Susan Silk and Barry Goldman, "How Not to Say the Wrong Thing," Los Angeles Times, April 7, 2013: http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407.

пяти стадий горя: Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying (New York: Routledge, 1969).

это не пять стадий: Holly G. Prigerson and Paul K. Maciejewski, "Grief and Acceptance as Opposite Sides of the Same Coin: Setting a Research Agenda to Study Peaceful Acceptance of Loss," The British Journal of Psychiatry 193 (2008): 435–37. См. также: Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut, "The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement: Rationale and Description," Death Studies 23 (1999): 197–224. Как объяснила нам социальный работник Кэрол Гейтнер, модели стадий «также минимизируют индивидуальность и разнообразие человеческой скорби. Возможны разные проявления горя и стратегии его переживания. Модели скорби создают проблемы, когда их воспринимают как обязательные. Более современные модели подчеркивают индивидуальность. Стремление свести все к общим моделям можно понять, так как человек хочет определенности и предпочитает знать, что где-то есть конечная точка, план игры, какая-то предсказуемость, но у них есть и оборотная сторона: модели не могут описать реального горя. Они дают иллюзорный комфорт. Каждая потеря уникальна».

Взрослея, мы сохраняем лишь действительно значимые отношения: Laura L. Carstensen, Derek M. Isaacowitz, and Susan T. Charles, "Taking Time Seriously: A Theory of Socioemotional Selectivity," American Psychologist 54 (1999): 165–81.

качество дружбы становится: Cheryl L. Carmichael, Harry T. Reis, and Paul R. Duberstein, "In Your 20s It's Quantity, in Your 30s It's Quality: The Prognostic Value of Social Activity Across 30 Years of Adulthood," Psychology and Aging 30 (2015): 95–105.

«Следы на песке»: аллегорическое стихотворение, опубликованное в разных вариантах. Например, см.: http://www.footprints-inthe-sand.com/index.php?page=Main.php.

4. Сочувствие к себе и уверенность в себе

почти каждый четвертый американец имеет криминальное прошлое: Matthew Friedman, "Just Facts: As Many Americans Have Criminal Records as College Diplomas," Brennan Center for Justice, November 17, 2015: www.brennancenter.org/blog/just-facts-many-americans-have-criminal-records-college-diplomas; Thomas P. Bonczar and Allen J. Beck, "Lifetime Likelihood of Going to State or Federal Prison," Bureau of Justice Statistics, special report NCJ 160092, March 6, 1997: www.nij.gov/topics/corrections/reentry/
Pages/employment.aspx.

прошлое мешает им найти работу: только 40% работодателей «наверняка» или «скорее всего» готовы нанять претендента с криминальным прошлым. А в экспериментах с идентичными в остальном резюме у соискателей с криминальным прошлым шансы получить работу оказались вполовину меньше, чем у законопо­слушных. См.: John Schmitt and Kris Warner, "Ex-Offenders and the Labor Market," The Journal of Labor and Society 14 (2011): 87–109; Steven Raphael, The New Scarlet Letter? Negotiating the U.S. Labor Market with a Criminal Record (Kalamazoo, MI: Upjohn Institute Press, 2014).

Губернатор Техаса вручил Кэтрин награду: www.legis.state.tx.us/tlodocs/81R/billtext/html/HR00175I.htm и www.kbtx.com/home/headlines/7695432.html?site=full. Помимо наших собственных бесед с Кэтрин Хоук, подробности и цитаты взяты из Kris Frieswick, "Ex-Cons Relaunching Lives as Entrepreneurs," Inc., May 29, 2012: www.inc.com/magazine/201206/kris-frieswick/catherine-rohr-defy-ventures-story-of-redemption.html; Leonardo Blair, "Christian Venture Capitalist Defies Sex Scandal with God's Calling," The Christian Post, October 31, 2015: www.christianpost.com/news/christian-venture-capitalist-defies-sex-scandal-with-gods-calling-148873/; Ryan Young, "CCU's Moglia Teaching 'Life After Football,'" Myrtle Beach Online, August 22, 2015: www.myrtlebeachonline.com/sports/college/sun-belt/coastal-carolina-university/article31924596.html; Jessica Weisberg, "Shooting Straight," The New Yorker, February 10, 2014: www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/02/10/shooting-straight.

Сочувствие к себе порождается осознанием: Kristin D. Neff, "The Development and Validation of a Scale to Measure Self-Compassion," Self and Identity 2 (2003): 223–50. См. также: Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (New York: William Morrow, 2011).

В ходе исследования, посвященного людям, которые пережили развод: David A. Sbarra, Hillary L. Smith, and Matthias R. Mehl, "When Leaving Your Ex, Love Yourself: Observational Ratings of Self-Compassion Predict the Course of Emotional Recovery Following Marital Separation," Psychological Science 23 (2012): 261–69.

Среди военных, вернувшихся с войны: Regina Hiraoka, Eric C. Meyer, Nathan A. Kimbrel, et al., "Self-Compassion as a Prospective Predictor of PTSD Symptom Severity Among Trauma-Exposed U.S. Iraq and Afghanistan War Veterans," Journal of Traumatic Stress 28 (2015): 127–33.

Сочувствие к себе связано с ощущением счастья: Kristin D. Neff, "Self-Compassion, Self-Esteem, and Well-Being," Social and Personality Psychology Compass 5 (2011): 1–12; Angus Macbeth and Andrew Gumley, "Exploring Compassion: A Meta-Analysis of the Association Between Self-Compassion and Psychopathology," Clinical Psychology Review 32 (2012): 545–52; Nicholas T. Van Dam, Sean C. Sheppard, John P. Forsyth, and Mitch Earleywine, "Self-Compassion Is a Better Predictor than Mindfulness of Symptom Severity and Quality of Life in Mixed Anxiety and Depression," Journal of Anxiety Disorders 25 (2011): 123–30; Michelle E. Neely, Diane L. Schallert, Sarojanni S. Mohammed, et al., "Self-Kindness When Facing Stress: The Role of Self-Compassion, Goal Regulation, and Support in College Students' Well-Being," Motivation and Emotion 33 (2009): 88–97.

помогает как мужчинам, так и женщинам: Lisa M. Yarnell, Rose E. Stafford, Kristin D. Neff, et al., "Meta-Analysis of Gender Differences in Self-Compassion," Self and Identity 14 (2015): 499–520; Levi R. Baker and James K. McNulty, "Self-Compassion and Relationship Maintenance: The Moderating Roles of Conscientiousness and Gender," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 100 (2011): 853–73. Важно отметить, что сочувствие к себе не будет помогать в отношениях — и может даже испортить их, — если люди не стремятся исправлять свои ошибки.

«может стать противоядием от жестокости»: Mark Leary, "Don't Beat Yourself Up," Aeon, June 20, 2016: https://aeon.co/essays/learning-to-be-kind-to-yourself-has-remarkable-benefits. См. также: Meredith L. Terry and Mark Leary, "Self-Compassion, Self-Regulation, and Health," Self and Identity 10 (2011): 352–62.

Не думайте: «Если бы я не был таким…»: Paula M. Niedenthal, June Price Tangney, and Igor Gavanski, "'If Only I Weren't' Versus 'If Only I Hadn't': Distinguishing Shame and Guilt in Counterfactual Thinking," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 67 (1994): 585–95.

Виня себя за действия, а не за личные качества: Ronnie Janoff-Bulman, "Characterological Versus Behavioral Self-Blame: Inquiries into Depression and Rape," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 37 (1979): 1798–809.

«такой подарок, который постоянно дарит вам сам себя»: Erma Bombeck, Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1983).

чувство вины помогает стремиться: June Price Tangney and Ronda L. Dearing, Shame and Guilt (New York: Guilford, 2002).

среди студентов колледжей, те, кто был более склонен не к чувству вины, а к стыду: Ronda L. Dearing, Jeffrey Stuewig, and June Price Tangney, "On the Importance of Distinguishing Shame from Guilt: Relations to Problematic Alcohol and Drug Use," Addictive Behaviors 30 (2005): 1392–404.

Заключенные, испытывающие стыд: Daniela Hosser, Michael Windzio, and Werner Greve, "Guilt and Shame as Predictors of Recidivism: A Longitudinal Study with Young Prisoners," Criminal Justice and Behavior 35 (2008): 138–52. См. также: June P. Tangney, Jeffrey Stuewig, and Andres G. Martinez, "Two Faces of Shame: The Roles of Shame and Guilt in Predicting Recidivism," Psychological Science 25 (2014): 799–805.

ученики младших и средних классов: June Price Tangney, Patricia E. Wagner, Deborah Hill-Barlow, et al., "Relation of Shame and Guilt to Constructive Versus Destructive Responses to Anger Across the Lifespan," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 70 (1996): 797–809.

«Все мы чем-то надломлены»: Bryan Stevenson, Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption (New York: Spiegel & Grau, 2014).

Ведение дневника очень помогает: Mark R. Leary, Eleanor B. Tate, Claire E. Adams, et al., "Self-Compassion and Reactions to Unpleasant Self-Relevant Events: The Implications of Treating Oneself Kindly," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 92 (2007): 887–904.

Преобразование чувств в слова: Обзоры см. в: James W. Pennebaker and Joshua M. Smyth, Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain (New York: Guilford, 2016); Joanne Frattaroli, "Experimental Disclosure and Its Moderators: A Meta-Analysis," Psychological Bulletin 132 (2006): 823–65; Joshua M. Smyth, "Written Emotional Expression: Effect Sizes, Outcome Types, and Moderating Variables," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 66 (1998): 174–84. Доказательства того, что, прежде чем станет лучше, должно стать хуже: Antonio Pascual-Leone, Nikita Yeryomenko, Orrin-Porter Morrison, et al., "Does Feeling Bad Lead to Feeling Good? Arousal Patterns During Expressive Writing," Review of General Psychology 20 (2016): 336–47. Эти исследования также позволяют предположить, что ведение дневника помогает лучше всего, если мы пишем только для себя и описываем фаты и чувства; что мужчинам это помогает несколько лучше, чем женщинам, так как они более склонны держать свои чувства в себе; и что наибольшие преимущества это дает людям со множеством проблем со здоровьем и историей травм и стрессов в жизни. И самое главное — существует большая разница между организацией ваших мыслей и чувств, вызванных тяжелым опытом, и навязчивым их пережевыванием: попытки осмыслить их помогают, а прокручивание в голове одного и того же — нет. «Многие люди часто обнаруживают, что слишком много думают, вспоминают или говорят о неприятном событии в их прошлом. Они также обнаруживают, что другие не хотят их выслушивать, — рассказал нам психолог Даррин Леман. — Эти людям стоит попробовать экспрессивные записи. Это не панацея, это бесплатно, и эффект может быть скромным. А если это не помогает, стоит прекратить и искать другие способы излечения».

Называние негативных эмоций: Matthew D. Lieberman, Naomi I. Eisenberger, Molly J. Crockett, et al., "Putting Feelings into Words," Psychological Science 18 (2007): 421–28; Lisa Feldman Barrett, "Are You in Despair? That's Good," The New York Times, June 3, 2016: www.nytimes.com/2016/06/05/opinion/sunday/are-you-in-despair-thats-good.html.

у тех, кто идентифицировал свои чувства: Katharina Kircanski, Matthew D. Lieberman, and Michelle G. Craske, "Feelings into Words: Contributions of Language to Exposure Therapy," Psychological Science 23 (2012): 1086–91.

ведение дневника может дать отрицательный эффект: Помимо книги Pennebaker and Smyth, Opening Up by Writing It Down, см. литера­туру о критическом анализе стресса: Timothy D. Wilson, Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change (New York: Little, Brown, 2011); Jonathan I. Bisson, Peter L. Jenkins, Julie Alexander, and Carol Bannister, "Randomised Controlled Trial of Psychological Debriefing for Victims of Acute Burn Trauma," The British Journal of Psychiatry 171 (1997): 78–81; Benedict Carey, "Sept. 11 Revealed Psychology's Limits, Review Finds," The New York Times, July 28, 2011: www.nytimes.com/2011/07/29/
health/research/29psych.html.

помогает осмыслению: Karolijne van der Houwen, Henk Schut, Jan van den Bout, et al., "The Efficacy of a Brief Internet-Based Self-Help Intervention for the Bereaved," Behaviour Research and Therapy 48 (2010): 359–67.

можно посоветовать делать записи на диктофон: James W. Pennebaker and Janel D. Seagal, "Forming a Story: The Health Benefits of Narrative," Journal of Clinical Psychology 55 (1999): 1243–54.

Уверенность в себе необходима: Alexander D. Stajkovic, "Development of a Core Confidence–Higher Order Construct," Journal of Applied Psychology 91 (2006): 1208–24; Timothy A. Judge and Joyce E. Bono, "Relationship of Core Self-Evaluation Traits — Self-Esteem, Generalized Self-Efficacy, Locus of Control, and Emotional Stability — with Job Satisfaction and Job Performance: A Meta-Analysis," Journal of Applied Psychology 86 (2001): 80–92.

называется синдромом самозванца: Mark R. Leary, Katharine M. Patton, Amy E. Orlando, and Wendy Wagoner Funk, "The Impostor Phenomenon: Self-Perceptions, Reflected Appraisals, and Interpersonal Strategies," Journal of Personality 68 (2000): 725–56.

я прочитала лекцию на TED: Sheryl Sandberg, "Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders," TED Women, December 2010: www.ted.com/talks/sheryl_sandberg
_why_we_have_too_few_women_leaders.

утрата также может породить сомнения в себе: Edna B. Foa and Elizabeth A. Meadows, "Psychosocial Treatments for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: A Critical Review," Annual Review of Psychology 48 (1997): 449–80. См. также: Patricia A. Resick and Monica K. Schnike, "Cognitive Processing Therapy for Sexual Assault Victims," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 60 (1992): 748–56.

понять жизнь можно, только оглянувшись назад: Søren Kierkegaard, Papers and Journals: A Selection (New York: Penguin, 1996); Daniel W. Conway and K. E. Gover, Søren Kierkegaard, vol. 1 (New York: Taylor & Francis, 2002).

маленькими победами: Karl E. Weick, "Small Wins: Redefining the Scale of Social Problems," American Psychologist 39 (1984): 40–49; Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work (Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2011).

записывали по три вещи, которые им удались: Martin E.P. Seligman, Tracy A. Steen, Nansook Park, and Christopher Peterson, "Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions," American Psychologist 60 (2005): 410–21.

В другом, более позднем исследовании: Joyce E. Bono, Theresa M. Glomb, Winny Shen, et al., "Building Positive Resources: Effects of Positive Events and Positive Reflection on Work Stress and Health," Academy of Management Journal 56 (2013): 1601–27.

ведя счет полученным благам: Adam M. Grant and Jane E. Dutton, "Beneficiary or Benefactor: Are People More Prosocial When They Reflect on Receiving or Giving?," Psychological Science 23 (2012): 1033–39. Когда люди, проводящие сбор средств в университетах, несколько дней вели записи о том, как они помогли своим коллегам, их почасовые сборы в последующие две недели возрастали на 29%.

В 2017 году в России: Federal State Statistics Service, "Russia Unemployment Rate," по состоянию на 24 ноября, 2017: https://tradingeconomics.com/russia/unemployment-rate.

тех, кто перенес рак, действительно реже приглашают на собеседования: Larry R. Martinez, Craig D. White, Jenessa R. Shapiro, and Michelle R. Hebl, "Selection BIAS: Stereotypes and Discrimination Related to Having a History of Cancer," Journal of Applied Psychology 101 (2016): 122–28.

И дело не только в финансовых проблемах: Richard H. Price, Jin Nam Choi, and Amiram D. Vinokur, "Links in the Chain of Adversity Following Job Loss: How Financial Strain and Loss of Personal Control Lead to Depression, Impaired Functioning, and Poor Health," Journal of Occupational Health Psychology 7 (2002): 302–12.

человек теряет и чувство контроля: Eileen Y. Chou, Bidhan L. Parmar, and Adam D. Galinsky, "Economic Insecurity Increases Physical Pain," Psychological Science 27 (2016): 443–54.

стресс нередко влияет на личные отношения: Amiram D. Vinokur, Richard H. Price, and Robert D. Caplan, "Hard Times and Hurtful Partners: How Financial Strain Affects Depression and Relationship Satisfaction of Unemployed Persons and Their Spouses," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 71 (1996): 166–79.

Чтобы помочь людям, страдающим: Amiram D. Vinokur, Michelle van Ryn, Edward M. Gramlich, and Richard H. Price, "Long-Term Follow-Up and Benefit-Cost Analysis of the Jobs Program: A Preventive Intervention for the Unemployed," Journal of Applied Psychology 76 (1991): 213–19; "The Jobs Project for the Unemployed: Update," Michigan Prevention Research Center, по состоянию на 15 декабря 2016 г.: www.isr.umich.edu/src/seh/mprc/jobsupdt.html.

такие программы очень важны: Songqi Liu, Jason L. Huang, and Mo Wang, "Effectiveness of Job Search Interventions: A Meta-Analytic Review," Psychological Bulletin 140 (2014): 1009–41.

матерей-одиночек в Соединенных Штатах: Sarah Jane Glynn, "Breadwinning Mothers, Then and Now," Center for American Progress, June 20, 2014: www.americanprogress.org/issues/labor/report/
2014/06/20/92355/breadwinning-mothes-then-and-now/.

хорошие дошкольные учреждения: Child Care Aware of America, "Parents and the High Cost of Child Care: 2015 Report": http://usa.childcareaware.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Parents-and-the-High-Cost-of-Child-Care-2015-FINAL.pdf.

положение одиноких матерей гораздо хуже, чем у одиноких отцов: Institute for Women's Policy Research, "Status of Women in the States," April 8, 2015: http://statusofwomendata.org/press-releases/in-every-u-s-state-women-including-millennials-are-more-likely-than-men-to-live-in-poverty-despite-gains-in-higher-education/; Michael Lokshin, Kathleen Mullan Harris, Barry Popkin, "Single Mothers in Russia: Household Strategies for Coping with Poverty," (The World Bank, 2000); Valerie Sperling,. «Women without Men: Single Mothers and Family Change in the New Russia,» Canadian Slavonic Papers 57 (2015): 335.

уровень бедности достигает: United States Census Bureau, "Historical Poverty Tables: People and Families — 1959 to 2015," по состоянию на 19 декабря 2016 г.: www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/income-poverty/historical-poverty-people.html.

Каждая третья семья: United States Department of Agriculture, "Key Statistics & Graphics," по состоянию на 16 декабря 2016 г.: www.ers.usda.gov/topics/food-nutrition-assistance/food-security-in-the-us/key-statistics-graphics.aspx.

компанию Stand Up for Kids: после распределения питания в семьях количество пропусков уроков учащимися за год упало на 32%, а количество жалоб на здоровье — на 72% в месяц. Презентация Сони Арриолы, президента Sacred Heart Nativity Schools, по состоянию на 19 декабря 2016 г.

А в России государство выплачивает: International Labour Organi­zation, "Maternity and Paternity at Work: Law and Practice Across the World" (Geneva: International Labour Organization, 2014), accessed on March 11, 2017: HYPERLINK «http://www.ilo.org/wcmsp5/groups/public/---dgreports/---dcomm/---publ/documents/publication/wcms_242615.pdf»
www.ilo.org/wcmsp5/groups/public/---dgreports/
---dcomm/---publ/documents/publication/wcms_242615.pdf.

поддержку в трудной ситуации: Adam M. Grant, Jane E. Dutton, and Brent D. Rosso, "Giving Commitment: Employee Support Programs and the Prosocial Sensemaking Process," Academy of Management Journal 51 (2008): 898–918.

5. Рывок вперед

«Самой холодной зимой»: Albert Camus, Lyrical and Critical Essays (New York: Vintage, 1970).

«Я узнал, что ждет»: Joseph E. Kasper, "Co-Destiny: A Conceptual Goal for Parental Bereavement and the Call for a 'Positive Turn' in the Scientific Study of the Parental Bereavement Process," unpublished master's thesis, University of Pennsylvania, 2013.

«Когда мы уже никак не можем изменить ситуацию»: Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning (New York: Pocket Books, 1959).

испытали посттравматический рост: Richard G. Tedeschi and Lawrence G. Calhoun, Helping Bereaved Parents: A Clinician's Guide (New York: Routledge, 2003).

Психологи продолжили исследование: Обзоры исследований см. в: Richard G. Tedeschi and Lawrence G. Calhoun, "Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual Foundations and Empirical Evidence," Psychological Inquiry 15 (2004): 1–18; Vicki S. Helgeson, Kerry A. Reynolds, and Patricia L. Tomich, "A Meta-Analytic Review of Benefit Finding and Growth," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 74 (2006): 797–816; Gabriele Prati and Luca Pietrantoni, "Optimism, Social Support, and Coping Strategies as Factors Contributing to Posttraumatic Growth: A Meta-Analysis," Journal of Loss and Trauma 14 (2009): 364–88.

жертв сексуального насилия и жестокого обращения: Patricia Frazier, Ty Tashiro, Margit Berman, et al., "Correlates of Levels and Patterns of Positive Life Changes Following Sexual Assault," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 72 (2004): 19–30; Amanda R. Cobb, Richard G. Tedeschi, Lawrence G. Calhoun, and Arnie Cann, "Correlates of Posttraumatic Growth in Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence," Journal of Traumatic Stress 19 (2006): 895–903.

беженцев и военнопленных: Steve Powell, Rita Rosner, Will Butollo, et al., "Posttraumatic Growth After War: A Study with Former Refugees and Displaced People in Sarajevo," Journal of Clinical Psychology 59 (2003): 71–83; Zahava Solomon and Rachel Dekel, "Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and Posttraumatic Growth Among Israeli Ex-POWs," Journal of Traumatic Stress 20 (2007): 303–12.

выжил при катастрофах и природных катаклизмах: Tanja Zoellner, Sirko Rabe, Anke Karl, and Andreas Maercker, "Posttraumatic Growth in Accident Survivors: Openness and Optimism as Predictors of Its Constructive or Illusory Sides," Journal of Clinical Psychology 64 (2008): 245–63; Cheryl H. Cryder, Ryan P. Kilmer, Richard G. Tedeschi, and Lawrence G. Calhoun, "An Exploratory Study of Posttraumatic Growth in Children Following a Natural Disaster," American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 76 (2006): 65–69.

от тяжелых травм и болезней: Sanghee Chun and Youngkhill Lee, "The Experience of Posttraumatic Growth for People with Spinal Cord Injury," Qualitative Health Research 18 (2008): 877–90; Alexandra Sawyer, Susan Ayers, and Andy P. Field, "Posttraumatic Growth and Adjustment Among Individuals with Cancer or HIV/AIDS: A Meta-Analysis," Clinical Psychology Review 30 (2010): 436–47.

больше половины людей, переживших: Richard G. Tedeschi and Lawrence G. Calhoun, "The Posttraumatic Growth Inventory: Measuring the Positive Legacy of Trauma," Journal of Traumatic Stress 9 (1996): 455–71.

развивается всего у 15%: National Center for PTSD, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, "How Common Is PTSD?," подсчитано по статистическим данным, представленным в отчете, по состоянию на 14 декабря 2016 г.: www.ptsd.va.gov/public/PTSD-overview/basics/how-common-is-ptsd.asp.

«Что не убивает меня, то делает меня сильнее»: Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, trans. R. J. Hollingdale (New York: Penguin, 1889/1977).

«Я уязвимее»: Lawrence G. Calhoun and Richard G. Tedeschi, Handbook of Posttraumatic Growth: Research and Practice (New York: Routledge, 2014).

После потери пустота дней рождений: Camille B. Wortman, "Posttraumatic Growth: Progress and Problems," Psychological Inquiry 15 (2004): 81–90.

людей попросили написать и доставить: Martin E. P. Seligman, Tracy A. Steen, Nansook Park, and Christopher Peterson, "Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions," American Psychologist 60 (2005): 410–21. См. также: Fabian Gander, René T. Proyer, Willibald Ruch, and Tobias Wyss, "Strength-Based Positive Interventions: Further Evidence for Their Potential in Enhancing Well-Being and Alleviating Depression," Journal of Happiness Studies 14 (2013): 1241–59.

Многие пережившие сексуальное насилие и нападения: Patricia Frazier, Amy Conlon, and Theresa Glaser, "Positive and Negative Life Changes Following Sexual Assault," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 69 (2001): 1048–55; J. Curtis McMillen, Susan Zuravin, and Gregory Rideout, "Perceived Benefit from Childhood Sexual Abuse," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 63 (1995): 1037–43.

Потеряв ребенка: Darrin R. Lehman, Camille B. Wortman, and Allan F. Williams, "Long-Term Effects of Losing a Spouse or Child in a Motor Vehicle Crash," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 52 (1987): 218–31.

Солдаты, пережившие тяжелые потери: Glen H. Elder Jr. and Elizabeth Colerick Clipp, "Wartime Losses and Social Bonding: Influence Across 40 Years in Men's Lives," Psychiatry 51 (1988): 177–98; Glen H. Elder Jr. and Elizabeth Colerick Clipp, "Combat Experience and Emotional Health: Impairment and Resilience in Later Life," Journal of Personality 57 (1989): 311–41.

Многие женщины, перенесшие рак груди: Matthew J. Cordova, Lauren L. C. Cunningham, Charles R. Carlson, and Michael A. Andrykowski, "Posttraumatic Growth Following Breast Cancer: A Controlled Comparison Study," Health Psychology 20 (2001): 176–85; Sharon Manne, Jamie Ostroff, Gary Winkel, et al., "Posttraumatic Growth After Breast Cancer: Patient, Partner, and Couple Perspectives," Psychosomatic Medicine 66 (2004): 442–54; Tzipi Weiss, "Posttraumatic Growth in Women with Breast Cancer and Their Husbands: An Intersubjective Validation Study," Journal of Psychosocial Orthopsychiatry 20 (2002): 65–80; Keith M. Bellizzi and Thomas O. Blank, "Predicting Posttraumatic Growth in Breast Cancer Survivors," Health Psychology 25 (2006): 47–56.

«в каком-то смысле страдание перестает быть»: Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.

Травматический опыт может привести к более глубокой вере: Annick Shaw, Stephen Joseph, and P. Alex Linley, "Spirituality, and Posttraumatic Growth: A Systematic Review," Mental Health, Religion and Culture 8 (2005): 1–11.

я прочитала открытое письмо: Turner, "Letter to My Younger Self," The Players' Tribune, 3, 2016: www.theplayerstribune.com/vernon-turner-nfl-letter-to-my-younger-self/.

Семья и религия — величайшие источники: Paul T. P. Wong, The Human Quest for Meaning: Theories, Research, and Applications (New York: Routledge, 2013); Jochen I. Menges, Danielle V. Tussing, Andreas Wihler, and Adam Grant, "When Job Performance Is All Relative: How Family Motivation Energizes Effort and Compensates for Intrinsic Motivation," Academy of Management Journal (in press): http://amj.aom.org/content/early/
2016/02/25/amj.2014.0898.short.

Виды деятельности, где люди чаще всего находят смысл жизни: Brent D. Rosso, Kathryn H. Dekas, and Amy Wrzesniewski, "On the Meaning of Work: A Theoretical Integration and Review," Research in Organizational Behavior 30 (2010): 91–127; Adam M. Grant, "The Significance of Task Significance: Job Performance Effects, Relational Mechanisms, and Boundary Conditions," Journal of Applied Psychology 93 (2008): 108–24; Adam M. Grant, "Relational Job Design and the Motivation to Make a Prosocial Difference," Academy of Management Review 32 (2007): 393–417; Adam M. Grant, "Leading with Meaning: Beneficiary Contact, Prosocial Impact, and the Performance Effects of Transformational Leadership," Academy of Management Journal 55 (2012): 458–76; Yitzhak Fried and Gerald R. Ferriss, "The Validity of the Job Characteristics Model: A Review and Meta-Analysis," Personnel Psychology 40 (1987): 287–322; PayScale, "The Most and Least Meaningful Jobs," по состоянию на 14 декабря 2016 г.: www.payscale.com/data-packages/most-and-least-meaningful-jobs/.

значимая работа предотвращает истощение: Adam M. Grant and Sabine Sonnentag, "Doing Good Buffers Against Feeling Bad: Prosocial Impact Compensates for Negative Task and Self-Evaluations," Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 111 (2010): 13–22; Adam M. Grant and Elizabeth M. Campbell, "Doing Good, Doing Harm, Being Well and Burning Out: The Interactions of Perceived Prosocial and Antisocial Impact in Service Work," Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology 80 (2007): 665–91. См. также: Thomas W. Britt, James M. Dickinson, DeWayne Moore, et al., "Correlates and Consequences of Morale Versus Depression Under Stressful Conditions," Journal of Occupational Health Psychology 12 (2007): 34–47; Stephen E. Humphrey, Jennifer D. Nahrgang, and Frederick P. Morgeson, "Integrating Motivational, Social, and Contextual Work Design Features: A Meta-Analytic Summary and Theoretical Extension of the Work Design Literature," Journal of Applied Psychology 92 (2007): 1332–56.

А в те дни, когда им удается сделать: Sabine Sonnentag and Adam M. Grant, "Doing Good at Work Feels Good at Home, but Not Right Away: When and Why Perceived Prosocial Impact Predicts Positive Affect," Personnel Psychology 65 (2012): 495–530.

Количество заявок, поданных в Teach for America, утроилось: Abby Goodnough, "More Applicants Answer the Call for Teaching Jobs," The New York Times, February 11, 2002: www.nytimes.com/learning/students/
pop/20020212snaptuesday.html.

До атаки террористов работа: Amy Wrzesniewski, "It's Not Just a Job: Shifting Meanings of Work in the Wake of 9/11," Journal of Management Inquiry 11 (2002): 230–34.

люди чаще обретают смысл жизни: J. Curtis McMillen, Elizabeth M. Smith, and Rachel H. Fisher, "Perceived Benefit and Mental Health After Three Types of Disaster," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 65 (1997): 733–39.

После того как судьба напоминает им: Philip J. Cozzolino, Angela Dawn Staples, Lawrence S. Meyers, and Jamie Samboceti, "Greed, Death, and Values: From Terror Management to Transcendence Management Theory," Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 30 (2004): 278–92; Adam M. Grant and Kimberly Wade-Benzoni, "The Hot and Cool of Death Awareness at Work: Mortality Cues, Aging, and Self-Protective and Prosocial Motivations," Academy of Management Review 34 (2009): 600–22.

Забота о заболевшем родственнике: Robin K. Yabroff, "Financial Hardship Associated with Cancer in the United States: Findings from a Population-Based Sample of Adult Cancer Survivors," Journal of Clinical Oncology 34 (2016): 259–67; Echo L. Warner, Anne C. Kirchhoff, Gina E. Nam, and Mark Fluchel, "Financial Burden of Pediatric Cancer Patients and Their Families," Journal of Oncology Practice 11 (2015): 12–18.

почти три миллиона американцев заботятся: National Alliance for Cancer Caregiving, "Cancer Caregiving in the U.S.: An Intense, Episodic, and Challenging Care Experience," June 2016, по состоянию на 18 декабря 2016 г.: www.caregiving.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/CancerCaregivingReport_FINAL_June-17-2016.pdf; Alison Snyder, "How Cancer in the Family Reverberates Through the Workplace," The Washington Post, December 11, 2016: www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/how-cancer-in-the-family-reverberates-through-the-workplace/2016/12/09/08311ea4-bb24-11e6-94ac-3d324840106c_story.html.

происходят по причине болезни: David U. Himmelstein, Deborah Thorne, Elizabeth Warren, and Steffie Woolhandler, "Medical Bankruptcy in the United States, 2007: Results of a National Study," The American Journal of Medicine 122 (2009): 741–46.

больные раком более чем в два с половиной раза чаще: Scott Ramsey, David Blough, Anne Kirchhoff, et al., "Washington State Cancer Patients Found to Be at Greater Risk for Bankruptcy than People Without a Cancer Diagnosis," Health Affairs 32 (2013): 1143–52. См. также: Robin Yabroff, Emily C. Dowling, Gery P. Guy, et al., "Financial Hardship Associated with Cancer in the United States: Findings from a Population-Based Sample of Adult Cancer Survivors," Journal of Clinical Oncology 34 2015): 67.

46% американцев не в состоянии: Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System, "Report on the Economic Well-Being of U.S. Households in 2015," May 2016, по состоянию на 14 декабря 2016 г.: www.federalreserve.gov/2015-report-economic-well-being-us-households-201605.pdf.

Трагедия калечит не только настоящее: Sally Maitlis, "Who Am I Now? Sense making and Identity in Posttraumatic Growth," in Exploring Positive Identities and Organizations: Building a Theoretical and Research Foundation, ed. Laura Morgan Roberts and Jane E. Dutton (New York: Psychology Press, 2009).

Наши возможные «Я»: Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius, "Possible Selves," American Psychologist 41 (1986): 954–69; Elizabeth A. Penland, William G. Masten, Paul Zelhart, et al., "Possible Selves, Depression and Coping Skills in University Students," Personality and Individual Differences 29 (2000): 963–69; Daphna Oyserman and Hazel Rose Markus, "Possible Selves and Delinquency," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 59 (1990): 112–25; Chris Feudtner, "Hope and the Prospects of Healing at the End of Life," The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine 11 (2005): 23‒30.

«когда одна дверь к счастью закрывается»: Helen Keller, We Bereaved (New York: Leslie Fulenwider Inc., 1929), по состоянию на 29 декабря 2016 г.: https://archive.org/stream/webereaved0
0hele#page/22/mode/2up.

многие люди, пережившие горе, хотят помочь другим: Trenton A. Williams and Dean A. Shepherd, "Victim Entrepreneurs Doing Well by Doing Good: Venture Creation and Well-Being in the Aftermath of a Resource Shock," Journal of Business Venturing 31 (2016): 365–87.

«каждое новое начало — это»: Приписывается Луцию Аннею Сенеке; Semisonic, "Closing Time," Feeling Strangely Fine (MCA, 1998).

«Я верю, что изменился»: Stephen Schwartz, Wicked, original Broadway cast recording (Decca Broadway, 2003).

6. Верните в жизнь радость

Когда умирает любимый человек: Margaret Shandor Miles and Alice Sterner Demi, "A Comparison of Guilt in Bereaved Parents Whose Children Died by Suicide, Accident, or Chronic Disease," OMEGA: Journal of Death and Dying 24 (1992): 203–15.

При массовых увольнениях: Joel Brockner, Jeff Greenberg, Audrey Brockner, et al., "Layoffs, Equity Theory, and Work Performance: Further Evidence of the Impact of Survivor Guilt," Academy of Management Journal 29 (1986): 373–84; Barbara Kiviat, "After Layoffs, There's Survivor Guilt," Time, February 1, 2009: http://content.time.com/time/business/
article/0,8599,1874592,00.html.

Жизнь, состоящая только в погоне за удовольствиями: Roy F. Baumeister, Kathleen D. Vohs, Jennifer L. Aaker, and Emily N. Garbinsky, "Some Key Differences Between a Happy Life and a Meaningful Life," The Journal of Positive Psychology 8 (2013): 505–16.

Сосредотачиваясь на других, мы обретаем: Adam M. Grant, Elizabeth M. Campbell, Grace Chen, et al., "Impact and the Art of Motivation Maintenance: The Effects of Contact with Beneficiaries on Persistence Behavior," Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 103 (2007): 53–67; Adam M. Grant, "Does Intrinsic Motivation Fuel the Prosocial Fire? Motivational Synergy in Predicting Persistence, Performance, and Productivity," Journal of Applied Psychology 93 (2008): 48–58; Nicola Bellé, "Experimental Evidence on the Relationship Between Public Service Motivation and Job Performance," Public Administration Review 73 (2013): 143–53.

«радость — это величайший акт неповиновения»: Bono, цит. по: Brian Boyd, "Bono: The Voice of Innocence Experience," The Irish Times, September 18, 2015: www.irishtimes.com/culture/music/bono-the-voice-of-innocence-and-experience-1.2355501; цитата изменена с «акт неповиновения» на «величайший акт неповиновения» с разрешения.

Но счастье — это частота: Ed Diener, Ed Sandvik, and William Pavot, "Happiness Is the Frequency, Not the Intensity, of Positive Versus Negative Affect," in Subjective Well-Being: An Interdisciplinary Perspective, ed. Fritz Strack, Michael Argyle, and Norbert Schwartz (New York: Pergamon, 1991).

В исследовании скорбящих супругов: Frank J. Infurna and Suniya S. Luthar, "The Multidimensional Nature of Resilience to Spousal Loss," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (in press): http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2016-33916-001/.

«То, как мы проводим наши дни»: Annie Dillard, The Writing Life (New York: Harper & Row, 1989).

«Счастье — это радость, которую ты находишь»: Tim Urban, "How to Pick Your Life Partner — Part 2," Wait but Why, February 2014: http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner-part-2.html.

мы по своей природе легче замечаем плохое: Paul Rozin and Edward B. Royzman, "Negativity Bias, Negativity Dominance, and Contagion," Personality and Social Psychology Review 5 (2001): 296–320; Roy F. Baumeister, Ellen Bratslavsky, Catrin Finkenauer, and Kathleen D. Vohs, "Bad Is Stronger than Good," Review of General Psychology 5 (2001): 323–70.

Но сегодня мы уделяем слишком много внимания: Anita DeLongis, James C. Coyne, Gayle Dakof, et al., "Relationship of Daily Hassles, Uplifts, and Major Life Events to Health Status," Health Psychology 1 (1982): 119–36; Vivian Kraaij, Ella Arensman, and Philip Spinhoven, "Negative Life Events and Depression in Elderly Persons: A Meta-Analysis," The Journals of Gerontology Series B 57 (2002): 87–94.

Когда мы даем название негативным эмоциям: Michele M. Tugade, Barbara L. Fredrickson, and Lisa Feldman Barrett, "Psychological Resilience and Positive Emotional Granularity: Examining the Benefits of Positive Emotions on Coping and Health," Journal of Personality 72 (2004): 1161–90.

ведение записей о радостных событиях: Chad M. Burton and Laura A. King, "The Health Benefits of Writing About Intensely Positive Experiences," Journal of Research in Personality 38 (2004): 150–63; Joyce E. Bono, Theresa M. Glomb, Winny Shen, et al., "Building Positive Resources: Effects of Positive Events and Positive Reflection on Work Stress and Health," Academy of Management Journal 56 (2013): 1601–27.

Мы можем наслаждаться самыми незначительными повсе­дневными событиями: Anthony D. Ong, C. S. Bergeman, Toni L. Bisconti, and Kimberly A. Wallace, "Psychological Resilience, Positive Emotions, and Successful Adaptation to Stress in Later Life," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 91 (2006): 730–49.

С возрастом счастье становится для нас: Cassie Mogilner, Sepandar D. Kamvar, and Jennifer Aaker, "The Shifting Meaning of Happiness," Social Psychological and Personality Science 2 (2011): 395–402.

«Умиротворенность — это радость покоя»: Reverend Veronica Goines, цит. по: Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts (New York: Riverhead, 2006); Robert Lee Hill, The Color of Proclamations and Prayers for New Beginnings (Pasadena: Hope Publishing House, 2007).

если поделились своей радостью с кем-то: Shelly L. Gable, Harry T. Reis, Emily Impett, and Evan R. Asher, "What Do You Do When Things Right? The Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Benefits of Sharing Positive Events," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 87 (2004): 228–45.

«Радость — это дисциплина»: Shannon Sedgwick Davis, "Joy Is a Discipline," To My Boys, May 18, 2014: www.2myboys.com/joy-discipline.

«едва преодолимой трудностью»: Nicholas Hobbs, "The Psychologist as Administrator," Journal of Clinical Psychology 25 (1959): 237–40; John Habel, "Precipitating Myself into Just Manageable Difficulties: Constructing an Intellectual Biography of Nicholas Hobbs," in Inside Stories: Qualitative Research Reflections, ed. Kathleen B. deMarrais (Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum, 1998).

в «потоке»: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life (New York: Basic Books, 1998); Ryan W. Quinn, "Flow in Knowledge Work: High Performance Experience in the Design of National Security Technology," Administrative Science Quarterly 50 (2005): 610–41.

«если бы Брюс Уэйн в девять лет увидел»: Цит. по: Jason Zinoman, "Patton Oswalt: 'I'll Never Be at 100 Percent Again,'" The New York Times, October 26, 2016: www.nytimes.com/2016/10/30/arts/patton-oswalt-ill-never-be-at-100-percent-again.html?_r=0; цитата изменена с «грубо прорисованного героя» на «накачанного героя» с разрешения.

О влиянии упражнений на физическое здоровье: Mayo Clinic Staff, "Exercise: 7 Benefits of Regular Physical Activity," Mayo Clinic, October 13, 2016: www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/exercise/art-20048389.

многие врачи и психотерапевты также говорят о том, что физические упражнения: Georgia Stahopoulou, Mark B. Powers, Angela C. Berry, et al., "Exercise Interventions for Mental Health: A Quantitative and Qualitative Review," Clinical Psychology 13 (2006): 179–93.

Для людей в возрасте за пятьдесят: James A. Blumenthal, Michael A. Babyak, Kathleen A. Moore, et al., "Effects of Exercise Training on Older Patients with Major Depression," Archives of Internal Medicine 159 (1999): 2349–56.

Сегодня в мире больше беженцев: UNHCR, the UN Refugee Agency, "Figures at a Glance," по состоянию на 18 декабря 2016 г.: www.unhcr.org/en-us/figures-at-a-glance.html; Scott Arbeiter, "America's Duty to Take in Refugees," The New York Times, September 23, 2016: www.nytimes.com/2016/09/24/opinion/americas-duty-to-take-in-refugees.html.

7. Как воспитать стойких детей

лауреат многочисленных премий художник Тимоти Чамберс: www.iguanaacademy.com/timothy-chambers/.

Ким посмотрела запись лекции Адама о стойкости: Adam Grant, "The Surprising Habits of Original Thinkers," TED, April 2016: www.ted.com/talks/adam_grant_the_surprising
_habits_of_original_thinkers.

В России каждый пятый ребенок: OECD Social Policy Division, "CO2.2: Child Poverty," Directorate of Employment, Labour and Social Affairs, 2016, по состоянию на 2 июня, 2017: http://www.oecd.org/els/soc/
CO_2_2_Child_Poverty.pdf

Два из десяти юных американцев: National Poverty Center, "Poverty in the United States," по состоянию на 14 декабря 2016 г.: www.npc.umich.edu/poverty/.

среди детей матерей-одиночек их 43%: Bernadette D. Proctor, Jessica L. Semega, and Melissa A. Kollar, "Income and Poverty in the United States: 2015," United States Census Bureau, September 2016: www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/
publications/2016/demo/p60-256.pdf.

У более чем двух с половиной миллионов американских детей: Katie Reilly, "Sesame Street Reaches Out to 2.7 Million American Children with an Incarcerated Parent," Pew Research Center, June 21, 2013: www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/06/21/sesame-street-reaches-out-to-2-7-million-american-children-with-an-incarcerated-parent.

Такие условия существования: Katie A. McLaughlin and Margaret A. Sheridan, "Beyond Cumulative Risk: A Dimensional Approach to Childhood Adversity," Current Directions in Psychological Science 25 (2016): 239–45.

качественное дошкольное образование: Gregory Camilli, Sadako Vargas, Sharon Ryan, and William Steven Barnett, "Meta-Analysis of the Effects of Early Education Interventions on Cognitive and Social Development," Teachers College Record 122 (2010): 579–620.

Nurse-Family Partnership: www.nursefamilypartnership.org/.

Если неблагополучные семьи посещаются: Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, "The Way to Beat Poverty," The New York Times, September 12, 2014: www.nytimes.com/2014/09/14/opinion/sunday/nicholas-kristof-the-way-to-beat-poverty.html.

каждый доллар, вложенный в визиты: Lynn A. Karoly, M. Rebecca Kilburn, and Jill S. Cannon, "Early Childhood Interventions: Proven Results, Future Promise," RAND Labor and Population 2005: www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/
monographs/2005/RAND_MG341.pdf.

Стойкость — залог более счастливой: Ann S. Masten, "Ordinary Magic: Resilience Processes in Development," American Psychologist 56 (2001): 227–38; Carolyn M. Youssef and Fred Luthans, "Positive Organi­zational Behavior in the Workplace: The Impact of Hope, Optimism, and Resilience," Journal of Management 33 (2007): 774–800; Salvatore R. Maddi, Hardiness: Turning Stressful Circumstances into Resilient Growth (New York: Springer Science & Business Media, 2012).

Это проект длиною в жизнь: Brian R. Little, Katariina Salmela-Aro, and Susan D. Phillips, eds., Personal Project Pursuit: Goals, Action, and Human Flourishing (Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum, 2006).

«профессионально состоявшимися, уверенными в себе и любящими взрослыми»: Emmy E. Werner, "High-Risk Children in Young Adulthood: A Longitudinal Study from Birth to 32 Years," American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 59 (1989): 72–81.

То же верно и для детей: Mary Karapetian Alvord and Judy Johnson Grados, "Enhancing Resilience in Children: A Proactive Approach," Professional Psychology: Research in Practice 36 (2005): 238–45.

Change Your Shoes: Кэйти Андерсен основала эту программу, а затем сделала ее одним из кругов Lean In. Более подробную информацию см. на https://leanincircles.org/chapter/change-your-shoes.

дети лучше реагируют на трудные обстоятельства: Carol S. Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (New York: Random House, 2006).

Каким будет образ мышления ребенка: Claudia M. Mueller and Carol S. Dweck, "Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children's Motivation and Performance," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 75 (1998): 33–52.

После того как ученики, которым грозило отчисление: David Paunesku, Gregory M. Walton, Carissa Romero, et al., "Mind-set Interventions Are a Scalable Treatment for Academic Underachievement," Psychological Science 26 (2015): 784–93.

студенты-первокурсники во время программы ориентации: David S. Yeager, Gregory M. Walton, Shannon T. Brady, et al., "Teaching a Lay Theory Before College Narrows Achievement Gaps at Scale," Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 113 (2016): 12111–13.

Сегодня важность помощи детям: Kyla Haimovitz and Carol S. Dweck, "What Predicts Children's Fixed and Growth Mind-Sets? Not Their Parents' Views of Intelligence but Their Parents' Views of Failure," Psychological Science 27 (2016): 859–69.

«нормализующими трудностями»: Julie Lythcott-Haims, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success (New York: Holt, 2015).

«Вероятно, математика — это не твое»: Carol Dweck, "Carol Dweck Revisits the Growth Mindset," Education Week, September 22, 2015: www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2015/09/23/carol-dweck-revisits-the-growth-mindset.html.

Третье убеждение, влияющее на стойкость у детей: Morris Rosenberg and B. Claire McCullough, "Mattering: Inferred Significance and Mental Health Among Adolescents," Research in Community and Mental Health 2 (1981): 163–82; Login S. George and Crystal L. Park, "Meaning in Life as Comprehension, Purpose, and Mattering: Toward Integration and New Research Questions," Review of General Psychology 20 (2016): 205–20.

у тех, кто чувствовал себя значимым: Gregory C. Elliott, Melissa F. Colangelo, and Richard J. Gelles, "Mattering and Suicide Ideation: Establishing and Elaborating a Relationship," Social Psychology Quarterly 68 (2005): 223–38.

Юные лесбиянки, геи и бисексуалы: Laura Kann, Emily O'Malley Olsen, Tim McManus, et al., "Sexual Identity, Sex of Sexual Contacts, and Health-Risk Behaviors Among Students in Grades 9–12," Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, June 10, 2011: www.cdc.gov/mmwr/pdf/ss/ss60e0606.pdf.

Klassen Time: Jessica Alexander, "Teaching Kids Empathy: In Danish Schools, It's ... Well, It's a Piece of Cake," Salon, August 9, 2016: www.salon.com/2016/08/09/teaching-kids-empathy-in-danish-schools-its-well-its-a-piece-of-cake; Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Dissing Sandahl, The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids (New York: TarcherPerigee, 2016).

Дети учатся эмпатии: Martin L. Hoffman, Empathy and Moral Development: Implications for Caring and Justice (New York: Cambridge University Press, 2001).

программа воспитания стойкости под названием Girls First: http://corstone.org/girls-first-bihar-india/.

она вмешалась, остановив мальчика: Kate Leventhal, "Ritu's Story: A New Advocate for Peace and Women's Rights," CorStone, November 19, 2015: http://corstone.org/ritus-story-peace-rights/.

учителей убеждают в том, что ученики из дискриминируемых групп: Lee Jussim and Kent D. Harber, "Teacher Expectations and Self-Fulfilling Prophecies: Knowns and Unknowns, Resolved and Unresolved Controversies," Personality and Social Psychology Review 9 (2005): 131–55; Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson, "Teachers' Expectancies: Determinants of Pupils' IQ Gains," Psychological Reports 19 (1966): 115–18; Monica J. Harris and Robert Rosenthal, "Mediation of Interpersonal Expectancy Effects: 31 Meta-Analyses," Psychological Bulletin 97 (1985): 363–86.

Поверь, что из неудачи можно извлечь ценный урок: David S. Yeager and Carol S. Dweck, "Mindsets That Promote Resilience: When Students Believe That Personal Characteristics Can Be Developed," Educational Psychologist 47 (2012): 302–14.

Поверь, что ты нужен: Adam M. Grant and Francesca Gino, "A Little Thanks Goes a Long Way: Explaining Why Gratitude Expressions Motivate Prosocial Behavior," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 98 (2010): 946–55.

Более 1 800 000 детей в Америке: Social Security Administration, "Benefits Paid by Type of Beneficiary," по состоянию на 14 декабря 2016 г.: www.ssa.gov/oact/progdata/icp.html.

почти три четверти из них сказали: "Life with Grief Research," Comfort Zone News, по состоянию на 14 декабря 2016 г.: www.comfortzonecamp.org/news/childhood-bereavement-study-results.

дети более нейропластичны: Joan Stiles, "Neural Plasticity and Cognitive Development," Developmental Neuropsychology 18 (2000): 237–72. См. также: Dante Ciccheti, "Resilience Under Conditions of Extreme Stress: A Multilevel Perspective," World Psychiatry 9 (2010): 145–54.

У них более короткие «промежутки чувств»: Kenneth J. Doka and Joyce D. Davidson, eds., Living with Grief: Who We Are, How We Grieve (New York: Routledge, 1998).

Уставая, мы слабеем: Christopher M. Barnes, Cristiano L. Guarana, Shazia Nauman, and Dejun Tony King, "Too Tired to Inspire or Be Inspired: Sleep Deprivation and Charismatic Leadership," Journal of Applied Psychology 101 (2016): 1191–99; Brett Litwiller, Lori Anderson Snyder, William D. Taylor, and Logan M. Steele, "The Relationship Between Sleep and Work: A Meta-Analysis," Journal of Applied Psychology (в печати): http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2016-57450-001/.

«Лидерство для девочек»: https://girlsleadership.org/.

Когда дети растут с четким пониманием: Robyn Fivush, Jennifer Bohanek, Rachel Robertson, and Marshall Duke, "Family Narratives and the Development of Children's Emotional Well-Being," in Family Stories and the Life Course: Across Time and Generations, ed. Michael W. Pratt and Barbara H. Fiese (Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum, 2004); Bruce Feiler, "The Stories That Bind Us," The New York Times, March 15, 2013: www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html.

Когда все члены семьи могут: Jennifer G. Bohanek, Kelly A. Marin, Robyn Fivush, and Marshall P. Duke, "Family Narrative Interaction and Children's Sense of Self," Family Process 45 (2006): 39–54.

буквально ностальгия — это: Constantine Sedikides, Tim Wild­schut, Jamie Arndt, and Clay Routledge, "Nostalgia: Past, Present, and Future," Current Directions in Psychological Science 17 (2008): 304–7.

программе помощи детям, потерявшим родителей, разработанной в Аризонском университете: Rachel A. Haine, Tim S. Ayers, Irwin N. Sandler, and Sharlene A. Wolchik, "Evidence-Based Practices for Parentally Bereaved Children and Their Families," Professional Psychology: Research and Practice 39 (2008): 113–21. См. также: Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut, "Family Matters in Bereavement: Toward an Integrative Intra-Interpersonal Coping Model," Perspectives on Psychological Science 10 (2015): 873–79. Более подробно о программе помощи скорбящим семьям см. на https://reachinstitute.asu.edu/programs/family-bereavement.

служат напоминанием о счастье: Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2012).

Теперь я снимаю: Kristin Diehl, Gal Zauberman, and Alixandra Barasch, "How Taking Photos Increases Enjoyment of Experiences," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 111 (2016): 119–40.

8. Сила в единстве

«Мы охвачены сетью»: Martin Luther King Jr., "Letter from a Birmingham Jail," April 16, 1963; цит. по: www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2013/04/martin-luther-kings-letter-from-birmingham-jail/274668/.

В 1972 году самолет, летевший: Spencer Harrison, "The Role of Hope in Organizing: The Case of the 1972 Andes Flight Disaster" (working paper, 2016); Piers Paul Read, Alive: The Story of the Andes Survivors (Philadelphia: Lippincott, 1974); Nando Parrado, Miracle in the Andes: 72 Days on the Mountain and My Long Trek Home (New York: Crown, 2006); Roberto Canessa and Pablo Vierci, I Had to Survive: How a Plane Crash in the Andes Inspired My Calling to Save Lives (New York: Atria Books, 2016); Michael Useem, The Go Point: How to Get Off the Fence by Knowing What to Do and When to Do It (New York: Three Rivers Press, 2006); Pablo Vierci, La Sociedad de la Nieve: Por Primera Vez Los 16 Sobrevivientes de los Andes Cuentan la Historia Completa (Argentina: Editorial Sudamericana, 2008), перевод с испанского Спенсера Харрисона.

сообщество людей создает новые «образы возможности»: James D. Ludema, Timothy B. Wilmot, and Suresh Srivastava, "Organizational Hope: Reaffirming the Constructive Task of Social and Organizational Inquiry," Human Relations 50 (1997): 1015–52.

Вера в новые возможности помогает людям: C. R. Snyder, "Conceptualizing, Measuring, and Nurturing Hope," Journal of Counseling and Development 73 (1995): 355–60; C. R. Snyder, Handbook of Hope (San Diego: Academic Press, 2000).

обоснованной надеждой: David B. Feldman and Lee Daniel Kravetz, Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success (New York: Harper Wave, 2014).

когда тридцать три чилийских шахтера оказались заблокированы: "Chile Miners Get Support from 'Alive' Crash Survivors," BBC News, September 4, 2010: www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-11190456; "'Alive' Survivors Reach Out to Trapped Chilean Miners," Weekend Edition Sunday, NPR, September 5, 2010: www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129662796; "A Survivor's Message to Miners," YouTube, по состоянию на 15 декабря 2016 г.: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLHhTLbjtkY.

Experience Camps: www.experience.camp.

После этого он выступил: "Testimony of Former SHU Inmate Steven Czifra at the Joint Legislative Hearing on Solitary Confinement in California," October 9, 2013, по состоянию на 23 декабря 2016 г.: www.whatthefolly.com/2013/10/22/transcript-testimony-of-former-shu-inmate-steven-czifra-at-the-joint-legislative-hearing-on-solitary-confinement-in-california-oct-9-2013/; "Steven Czifra Speaks on Solitary Confinement in North Berkeley," YouTube, November 6, 2013, по состоянию на 23 декабря 2016 г.: www.youtube.com/watch?v=aodLBlt1i00.

Underground Scholars Initiative: Larissa MacFarquhar, "Building a Prison-to-School Pipeline," The New Yorker, December 12, 2016: www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/12/12/the-ex-con-scholars-of-berkeley; Jessie Lau, "Incarceration to Convocation," The Daily Californian, May 10, 2015: www.dailycal.org/2015/05/10/incarceration-to-convocation/.

Posse Foundation: www.possefoundation.org.

коллективную стойкость вырабатывают общие истории: Michèle Lamont, Graziella Moraes Silva, Jessica S. Welburn, et al., Getting Respect: Responding to Stigma and Discrimination in the United States, Brazil, and Israel (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2016).

Если студентам перед прохождением: Michael Johns, Toni Schmader, and Andy Martens, "Knowing Is Half the Battle: Teaching Stereotype Threat as a Means of Improving Women's Math Perfor­mance," Psychological Science 16 (2005): 175–79.

чернокожие студенты показали худшие результаты: Claude M. Steele and Joshua Aronson, "Stereotype Threat and the Intellectual Test Performance of African Americans," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 69 (1995): 797–811. Обзор см. в: Hannah-Hanh D. Nguyen and Ann Marie Ryan, "Does Stereotype Threat Affect Test Performance of Minorities and Women? A Meta-Analysis of Experimental Evidence," Journal of Applied Psychology 93 (2008): 1314–34.

«угрозой стереотипа»: Claude M. Steele, "A Threat in the Air: How Stereotypes Shape Intellectual Identity and Performance," American Psychologist 52 (1997): 613–29; Jenessa R. Shapiro and Steven L. Neuberg, "From Stereotype Threat to Stereotype Threats: Implications of a Multi-Threat Framework for Causes, Moderators, Mediators, Consequences, and Interventions," Personality and Social Psychology Review 11 (2007): 107–30.

«все говорят, что эти ребята»: Tina Rosenberg, "Beyond SATs, Finding Success in Numbers," The New York Times, February 15, 2012: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/15/beyond-sats-finding-success-in-numbers/?scp=1&sq=fixes%20stereotype%20threat&st=cse.

поддержка равных тоже имеет огромное значение: Dan S. Chia­buru and David A. Harrison, "Do Peers Make the Place? Conceptual Synthesis and Meta-Analysis of Coworker Effects on Perceptions, Attitudes, OCBs, and Performance," Journal of Applied Psychology 93 (2008): 1082–103; Chockalingam Viswesvaran, Juan I. Sanchez, and Jeffrey Fisher, "The Role of Social Support in the Process of Work Stress: A Meta-Analysis," Journal of Vocational Behavior 54 (1999): 314–34.

Помогая людям преодолевать сложные жизненные обстоятельства: Geoff DeVerteuil and Oleg Golubchikov, "Can Resilience Be Redeemed?" City: Analysis of Urban Trends, Culture, Theory, Policy, Action 20 (2016): 143–51; Markus Keck and Patrick Sakdapolrak, "What Is Social Resilience? Lessons Learned and Ways Forward," Erdkunde 67 (2013): 5–19.

«Вечером в пятницу вы украли жизнь»: Antoine Leiris, You Will Not Have My Hate (New York: Penguin Press, 2016).

называется «моральным возвышением»: Jonathan Haidt, "Elevation and the Positive Psychology of Morality," in Flourishing: Positive Psychology and the Life Well-Lived, ed. Corey L. M. Keyes and Jonathan Haidt (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2003); Rico Pohling and Rhett Diessner, "Moral Elevation and Moral Beauty: A Review of the Empirical Literature," Review of General Psychology 20 (2016): 412–25; Sara B. Algoe and Jonathan Haidt, "Witnessing Excellence in Action: The 'Other-Praising' Emotions of Elevation, Gratitude, and Admiration," The Journal of Positive Psychology 4 (2009): 105–27; Simone Schnall, Jean Roper, and Daniel M. T. Fessler, "Elevation Leads to Altruistic Behavior," Psychological Science 21 (2010): 315–20.

«лучшими ангелами нашего естества»: Инаугурационная речь Авраама Линкольна, 4 марта 1861 г., по состоянию на 15 декабря 2016 г.: http://avalon.law.yale.edu/19th_century/lincoln1.asp.

возвышение заставляет искать: Dan Freeman, Karl Aquino, and Brent McFerran, "Overcoming Beneficiary Race as an Impediment to Charitable Donations: Social Dominance Orientation, the Experience of Moral Elevation, and Donation Behavior," Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 35 (2009): 72–84; Karl McFerran, and Marjorie Laven, "Moral Identity and the Experience of Moral Elevation in Response to Acts of Uncommon Goodness," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 100 (2011): 703–18; Jane Monica C. Worline, Peter J. Frost, and Jacoba Lilius, "Explaining Compassion Organizing," Administrative Science Quarterly 51 (2006): 96.

«пусть никто не сможет заставить вас»: Martin Luther King Jr., цит. по: Clayborne Carson and Peter Holloran, eds., A Knock at Midnight: Inspiration from the Great Sermons of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. (New York: Grand Central, 2000).

Африканской методистской епископальной церкви матери Эммануэль в Чарлстоне: Elahe Izadi, "The Powerful Words of Forgiveness Delivered to Dylann Roof by Victims' Relatives," The Washington Post, June 19, 2015: www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2015/06/19/hate-wont-win-the-powerful-words-delivered-to-dylann-roof-by-victims-relatives; John Eligon and Richard Fausset, "Defiant Show of Unity in Charleston Church That Lost 9 to Racist Violence," The New York Times, June 21, 2015: www.nytimes.com/2015/06/22/us/ame-church-in-charleston-reopens-as-congregation-mourns-shooting-victims.html; Alexis Simmons, "Families Impacted by Gun Violence Unite at Mother Emanuel Calling for Gun Reform," KCTV News, April 24, 2016: www.kctv5.com/story/31804155/families-impacted-by-gun-violence-unite-at-mother-emanuel-calling-for-gun-reform; Michael S. Schmidt, "Background Check Flaw Let Dylann Roof Buy Gun, F.B.I. Says," The New York Times, July 10, 2015: www.nytimes.com/2015/07/11/us/background-check-flaw-let-dylann-roof-buy-gun-fbi-says.html.

вместе со всей паствой спел «Чудесную благодать»: "President Obama Sings 'Amazing Grace,'" YouTube, по состоянию на 13 января 2017 г.: www.youtube.com/watch?v=IN05jVNBs64.

«То, что объединяет нас, сильнее»: Richard Fausset and John Eligon, "Charleston Church Reopens in Moving Service as Congregation Mourns," The Charlotte Observer, June 21, 2015: www.charlotteobserver.com/news/local/article25113397.html.

Миссию справедливости Чарлстона: http://thedartcenter.org/.

Только в 2010 году в мире произошло примерно четыреста: Dean A. Shepherd and Trenton A. Williams, "Local Venturing as Compassion Organizing in the Aftermath of a Natural Disaster: The Role of Localness and Community in Reducing Suffering," Journal of Management Studies 51 (2014): 952–94.

В стойких сообществах сильны социальные связи: См.: Daniel P. Aldrich and Michelle A. Meyer, "Social Capital and Community Resilience," American Behavioral Scientist 59 (2015): 254–69; Stevan E. Hobfoll, Patricia Watson, Carl C. Bell, et al., "Five Essential Elements of Immediate and Mid-Term Mass Trauma Intervention: Empirical Evidence," Psychiatry 70 (2007): 283–315. Также стойкость часто выше в сообществах, обладающих большими финансовыми ресурсами. После урагана «Эндрю» во Флориде в августе 1992 г. у людей значительно чаще развивалось ПТСР, если они лишались жилища и не имели средств на его восстановление: Gail Ironson, Christina Wynings, Neil Schneiderman, et al., "Posttraumatic Stress Symptoms, Intrusive Thoughts, Loss, and Immune Function After Hurricane Andrew," Psychosomatic Medicine 59 (1997): 128–41. Кроме того, психологи отмечают, что «действия администрации штата Миссисипи, которая заставила страховые компании выплачивать за понесенный ущерб согласно закону штата, оказали большое влияние на психическое здоровье людей»: Hobfoll et al., "Five Essential Elements of Immediate and Mid-Term Mass Trauma Intervention."

После геноцида 1994 года в Руанде: J. P. De Jong, Wilma F. Scholte, Maarten Koeter, and Augustinus A. M. Hart, "The Prevalence of Mental Health Problems in Rwandan and Burundese Refugee Camps," Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica 102 (2000): 171–77.

Лучшие в этом смысле лагеря: Joop de Jong, ed., Trauma, War, and Violence: Public Mental Health in Socio-Cultural Context (New York: Springer, 2002).

«женщинами-остатками»: Brooke Larmer, "The Price of Marriage in China," The New York Times, March 9, 2013: www.nytimes.com/2013/03/10/business/in-a-changing-china-new-matchmaking-markets.html; A.A., "'Leftover' and Proud," The Economist, August 1, 2014: www.economist.com/blogs/analects/2014/08/womens-voices.

«ничто, пока не выйдет замуж»: Clarissa Sebag-Montefiore, "Romance with Chinese Characteristics," The New York Times, August 21, 2012: http://latitude.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/08/21/romance-with-chinese-characteristics/?_r=0.

Более 80 000 женщин: Jenni Risku, "Reward Actors Who Promote Diversity: Lean In China's Virginia Tan," e27, September 19, 2016: https://e27.co/reward-actors-who-promote-diversity-lean-in-chinas-virginia-tan-20160916/.

9. Трудности и обучение на рабочем месте

обеспечивающих успех космического полета: Peter M. Madsen and Vinit Desai, "Failing to Learn? The Effects of Failure and Success on Organizational Learning in the Global Orbital Launch Vehicle Industry," Academy of Management Journal 53 (2010): 451–76.

нужна не меньше, чем людям: Trenton A. Williams, Daniel A. Gruber, Kathleen M. Sutcliffe, et al., "Organizational Response to Adversity: Fusing Crisis Management and Resilience Research Streams," Academy of Management Annals (в печати).

компаний, которые продолжали работать: Edie Lutnick, An Unbroken Bond: The Untold Story of How the 658 Cantor Fitzgerald Families Faced the Tragedy of 9/11 and Beyond (New York: Emergence Press, 2011).

была размещена такая доска: "We Asked People Tell Us Their Biggest Regrets — But What They All Had Common Was Heartbreaking," A Plus, January 22, 2016: http://aplus.com/a/clean-slate-blackboard-experiment.

мы обычно начинаем жалеть об упущенных: Thomas Gilovich and Victoria Husted Medvec, "The Experience of Regret: What, When, and Why," Psychological Review 102 (1995): 379–95.

конференции по заболеваемости и смертности: Patrice François, Frédéric Prate, Gwenaëlle Vidal-Trecan, et al., "Characteristics of Morbidity and Mortality Conferences Associated with the Implemen­tation of Patient Safety Improvement Initiatives, An Observational Study," BMC Health Services Research 16 (2015), http://bmchealthservres.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12916-016-1279-8; Juliet Higginson, Rhiannon Walters, and Naomi Fulop, "Mortality and Morbidity Meetings: An Untapped Resource for Improving the Governance of Patient Safety?" BMJ Quality and Safety 21 (2012): 1–10.

Если люди чувствуют, что говорить об ошибках безопасно: Amy C. Edmondson, "Learning from Mistakes Is Easier Said Than Done: Group and Organizational Influences on the Detection and Correction of Human Error," The Journal of Applied Behavioral Science 32 (1996): 5–28.

более честными при написании автобиографий: Melanie Stefan, "A CV of Failures," Nature 468 (2010): 467; Johannes Haushofer CV, по состоянию на 15 декабря 2016 г.: www.princeton.edu/~joha.

Kind Design: Jack Deming, "Native Son Suffers Loss from Western Mountain Flooding," The Deerfield Valley News, 2013: www.dvalnews.com/view/full_story_obits/23695561/article-Native-son-suffers-loss-from-western-mountain-flooding.

Команды, сосредоточившиеся на обучении на неудачах: Cathy van Dyck, Michael Frese, Markus Baer, and Sabine Sonnentag, "Organizational Error Management Culture and Its Impact on Performance: A Two-Study Replication," Journal of Applied Psychology 90 (2005): 1228–40.

напрашиваться на комплименты — значит вредить: Susan J. Ashford, Ruth Blatt, and Don VandeWalle, "Reflections on the Looking Glass: A Review of Research on Feedback-Seeking Behavior in Organi­zations," Journal of Management 29 (2003): 773–99. Многие люди опасаются просить об отзывах, потому что боятся, что информация подчеркнет их слабые стороны. Эти страхи неоправданны: просьба о критике обычно приводит к более позитивным оценкам со стороны коллег, занимающих разные по уровню должности.

он стал лучшим профессором Уортона: https://mba-inside.wharton.upenn.edu/class-of-1984-awardees/ и https://mba-inside.wharton.upenn.edu/excellence-in-teaching-class-of-1984-awards.

«У лучших спортсменов и певцов есть тренеры»: Atul Gawande, "The Coach in the Operating Room," The New Yorker, October 3, 2011: www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/10/03/personal-best.

«То, какие мы, определяется»: Gregg Popovich, цит. по: J. A. Adande, "Spurs' Fortitude Fueled Title Run," ESPN, November 19, 2014: www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/11901128/spurs-2014-title-run-started-game-7-2013-finals.

«Теперь мы всегда будем больше половины»: Theo Epstein, цит. по: Bill Pennington, "Cubs' Theo Epstein Is Making Lightning Strike Twice," The New York Times, September 29, 2016: www.nytimes.com/2016/10/02/sports/baseball/theo-epstein-chicago-cubs-boston-red-sox-world-series.html.

«После каждой полученной вами плохой отметки»: Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (New York: Viking, 2014).

одно-единственное предложение может сделать людей более открытыми: David S. Yeager, Valerie Purdie-Vaughns, Julio Garcia, et al., "Breaking the Cycle of Mistrust: Wise Interventions to Provide Critical Feedback Across the Racial Divide," Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 143 (2014): 804–24.

10. Снова любить и смеяться

брак повышает средний уровень счастья: Richard E. Lucas, Andrew E. Clark, Yannis Georgellis, and Ed Diener, "Reexamining Adaptation and the Set Point Model of Happiness: Reactions to Changes in Marital Status," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 84 (2003): 527–39. К тому же пары, которые впоследствии развелись, ощущали себя менее счастливыми уже перед свадьбой, а после развода их уровень счастья возрастал.

люди, выбравшие одиночество: Richard E. Lucas and Portia S. Dyrenforth, "The Myth of Marital Bliss?" Psychological Inquiry 16 (2005): 111–15; Maike Luhmann, Wilhelm Hofmann, Michael Eid, and Richard E. Lucas, "Subjective Well-Being and Adaptation to Life Events: A Meta-Analysis," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 102 (2012): 592–615.

«Одиночки — жертвы стереотипов»: Bella DePaulo, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After (New York: St. Martin's Press, 2006).

«Можете обвинять меня, если хотите»: Aaron Ben-Zeév, "Love After Death: The Widows' Romantic Predicaments," The Center for Behavioral Health, April 12, 2012: www.njpsychologist.com/blog/love-after-death-the-widows-romantic-predicaments/.

после смерти супруги мужчины находят себе новых спутниц чаще: Deborah Carr, "The Desire to Date and Remarry Among Older Widows and Widowers," Journal of Marriage and Family 66 (2004): 1051–68; Danielle S. Schneider, Paul A. Sledge, Stephen R. Schuchter, and Sidney Zisook, "Dating and Remarriage over the First Two Years of Widowhood," Annals of Clinical Psychiatry 8 (1996): 51–57; Karin Wolff and Camille B. Wortman, "Psychological Consequences of Spousal Loss Among Older Adults," in Spousal Bereavement in Late Life, ed. Deborah S. Carr, Randolph M. Nesse, and Camille B. Wortman (New York: Springer, 2005).

во многих странах: Kevin Kinsella and Victoria Averil Velkoff, "An Aging World: 2001," U.S. Census Bureau, Series P95/01-1 (Washington, D.C.: Government Printing Office, 2001).

В некоторых районах Индии: Nilanjana Bhowmick, "If You're an Indian Widow, Your Children Could Kick You Out and Take Everything," Time, October 7, 2013: http://world.time.com/2013/10/07/if-youre-an-indian-widow-your-children-could-kick-you-out-and-take-everything/.

В некоторых нигерийских деревнях: Osai Ojigho, "Scrape Her Head and Lay Her Bare: Widowhood Practices and Culture," Gender Across Borders, October 28, 2011: www.genderacrossborders.com/2011/10/28/scrape-her-head-and-lay-her-bare-widowhood-practices-and-culture/.

Дискриминацию вдов отмечают: Haider Rizvi, "RIGHTS: Mistreatment of Widows a Poorly Kept Secret," IPS, June 23, 2008: www.ipsnews.net/2008/06/rights-mistreatment-of-widows-a-poorly-kept-secret/.

Во многих странах вдовам сложно: Mary Kimani, "Women Struggle to Secure Land Rights," Africa Renewal, April 2008: www.un.org/africarenewal/magazine/april-2008/women-struggle-secure-land-rights; UN Women, "Empowering Widows: An Overview of Policies and Programs in India, Nepal and Sri Lanka," по состоянию на 15 декабря 2016 г.: www.2unwomen.org/~/media/field%20office%20eseasia/
docs/publications/2015/09/final_empowering%
20widows_report%202014.pdf?v=1&d=20150908T104700.

блог Абеля Кеоха: www.abelkeogh.com/blog.

При сканировании мозга влюбленных людей: См.: Arthur Aron, Helen Fisher, Debra J. Mashek, et al., "Reward, Motivation, and Emotion Systems Associated with Early-Stage Intense Romantic Love," Journal of Neurophysiology 94 (2005): 327–37; Helen Fisher, Arthur Aron, and Lucy L. Brown, "Romantic Love: An fMRI Study of a Neural Mechanism for Mate Choice," The Journal of Comparative Neurology 493 (2005): 58–62.

Когда мы влюбляемся: Arthur Aron, Meg Paris, and Elaine N. Aron, "Falling in Love: Prospective Studies of Self-Concept Change," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 69 (1995): 1102–12; Elaine N. Aron and Arthur Aron, "Love and the Expansion of the Self: The State of the Model," Personal Relationships 3 (1996): 45–58.

После операций пациенты, которые смотрят комедии: James Rotton and Mark Shats, "Effects of State Humor, Expectancies, and Choice on Postsurgical Mood and Self-Medication: A Field Experiment," Journal of Applied Social Psychology 26 (1996): 1775–94. Это происходит в тех случаях, когда они знают о положительном влиянии юмора на здоровье и сами выбирают фильм.

Солдаты, которые любят пошутить: Smadar Bizi, Giora Keinan, and Benjamin Beit-Hallahmi, "Humor and Coping with Stress: A Test Under Real-Life Conditions," Personality and Individual Differences 9 (1988): 951–56.

Люди, способные смеяться: Dacher Keltner and George A. Bonanno, "A Study of Laughter and Dissociation: Distinct Correlates of Laughter and Smiling During Bereavement," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 73 (1997): 687–702.

У пар, которые смеются вместе: John Mordechai Gottman and Robert Wayne Levenson, "The Timing of Divorce: Predicting When a Couple Will Divorce over a 14-Year Period," Journal of Marriage and Family 62 (2000): 737–45.

юмор понижает частоту сердечных сокращений: Michelle Gayle Newman and Arthur A. Stone, "Does Humor Moderate the Effects of Experimentally-Induced Stress?" Annals of Behavioral Medicine 18 (1996): 101–9.

«если вы можете сделать их нелепыми»: Mel Brooks, цит. по: Forrest Wickman, "Watch the New Documentary About Mel Brooks," Slate, May 28, 2013: www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2013/05/28/
_mel_brooks_make_a_noise_the_pbs_american
_masters_documentary_is_now_available.html.

Шутки — обычное дело на похоронах: Blake E. Ashforth and Glen E. Kreiner, " 'How Can You Do It?' Dirty Work and the Challenge of Constructing a Positive Identity," Academy of Management Review 24 (1999): 413–34.

«Он вовсе не потерялся»: "Tragicomedia with Comic Janice Messitte on Being a Newly Wedded Widow," Art for Your Sake, March 20, 2014: http://artforyoursake.com/tragicomedia-with-comic-janice-messitte-on-being-a-newly-wedded-widow/.

«Смерть — это конец жизни»: Robert Woodruff Anderson, I Never Sang for My Father (New York: Random House, 1968).

когда люди влюбляются: Anita L. Vangelisti and Daniel Perlman, eds., The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships (New York: Cambridge University Press, 2006).

сто тридцать пар новобрачных пригласили: John M. Gottman, James Coan, Sybil Carrere, and Catherine Swanson, "Predicting Marital Happiness and Stability from Newlywed Interactions," Journal of Marriage and Family 60 (1998): 5–22; John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (New York: Three Rivers Press, 2000).

определяет стойкие отношения: Jane E. Dutton and Emily Heaphy, "The Power of High-Quality Connections," in Positive Organizational Scholarship: Foundations of a New Discipline, ed. Kim S. Cameron, Jane E. Dutton, and Robert E. Quinn (San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler, 2003).

пары нередко замечают, что огонек угас: Arthur Aron, Christina C. Norman, Elaine N. Aron, et al., "Couples' Shared Participation in Novel and Arousing Activities and Experienced Relationship Quality," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 78 (2000): 273–84.

В парах, чей брак сохранился: John M. Gottman, Janice Driver, and Amber Tabares, "Repair During Marital Conflict in Newlyweds: How Couples Move from Attack-Defend to Collaboration," Journal of Family Psychotherapy 26 (2015): 85–108.

Всего трех записей, на каждую из которых отводилось семь минут: Eli J. Finkel, Erica B. Slotter, Laura B. Luchies, et al., "A Brief Intervention to Promote Conflict Reappraisal Preserves Marital Quality over Time," Psychological Science 24 (2013): 1595–601.

«Я не буду шокировать вас»: Allen Rucker, The Best Seat in the House: How I Woke Up One Tuesday and Was Paralyzed for Life (New York: Harper-Collins, 2007).