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Brer Rabbit was meandering through the woods one day when he heard Mr. Man chopping down a tree. Brer Rabbit stopped to listen. All of a sudden – KUBBER-LANG-BANG-BLAM!
Brer Rabbit jumped up in the air and took off running. Now, Brer Rabbit might try to claim he wasn’t scared, but it’s just like lightning and thunder. Folks know that thunder can’t hurt ’em, but when a loud clap of it come, they get scared and want to run anyhow. Well, that’s the way it was with Brer Rabbit that morning.
He ran and he ran and he ran some more, until he was almost out of breath. And about then, Brer Coon came along.
“What’s your hurry, Brer Rabbit?”
“Ain’t got no time to tarry.”
“Is your folks sick?”
“No, thank God. Ain’t got no time to tarry!”
“Well, what’s the matter?”
“Mighty big racket back there in the woods. Ain’t got no time to tarry!”
Brer Coon got kinna skittish, because he was a long ways away from home. He took off running and hadn’t gone far when he run smack dab into Brer Fox.
“Brer Coon! Where you going?”
“Ain’t got no time to tarry!”
“Is your folks sick?”
“No, thank God. Ain’t got no time to tarry!”
“Well, what’s the matter, Brer Coon?”
“Mighty queer noise back there in the woods. Ain’t got no time to tarry!”
And Brer Fox split the wind. He hadn’t gone far when he run smack dab into Brer Wolf.
“Brer Fox! Stop and rest yourself!”
“Ain’t got no time to tarry!”
“Is your folks sick?”
“No, thank God. Ain’t got no time to tarry!”
“Well, good or bad, Brer Fox. Tell me the news!”
“There’s a mighty noise back there in the woods. Ain’t got no time to tarry!”
Brer Wolf scratched earth getting away from there. He hadn’t gone far before he ran into Brer Bear. Brer Bear asked him what was wrong and Brer Wolf told him about the mighty noise. Brer Bear might have been big but he wasn’t slow and he shook the earth getting away. Before long every animal in the community was running like Ole Boy was after them.
They ran and they ran until they came to Brer Turtle’s house. Being about out of breath by this time, they stopped to rest. Brer Turtle wanted to know what all the excitement was.
“Mighty noise back there in the woods,” Brer Fox said.
“What it sound like?”
None of them knew.
“Who heard the racket?” Brer Turtle asked.
They asked one another and found out that none of them had.
Brer Turtle chuckled. “Excuse me, gentlemen. Believe it’s time for me to go eat my breakfast.” And he left.
The animals inquired among each other. They weren’t surprised to discover that Brer Rabbit was the one what started the news about the noise.
They went over to his house one sunny afternoon and he was sitting on the porch, getting a tan.
“What you trying to make a fool of me for?” Brer Bear spoke up.
“Fool of who, Brer Bear?”
“Me, Brer Rabbit! That’s who.”
“This is the first time I’ve seen you today, Brer Bear.”
Brer Coon spoke up. “Well, you seen me today, and you made a fool of me.”
“How I fool you?”
“You pretended like there was a big racket in the woods, Brer Rabbit.”
“Wasn’t no pretend. There was a big racket in the woods.”
“What kind?” Brer Coon asked.
Brer Rabbit chuckled. “You ought to ask me that first, Brer Coon. Wasn’t nothing but Mr. Man cutting down a tree. If you’d asked me, I would’ve told you. Sho’ would have.” And he turned his face up to the sun, closed his eyes, a big smile on his face.
Brer Rabbit was hungry for some meat, Brer Wolf was hungry for some meat, so off they went and killed somebody’s cow.
When it was time to divide the meat, Brer Wolf, wary of Brer Rabbit’s tricks, said, “I’m the biggest and I should have the most!” He pulled out his butcher knife and started cutting up the cow. Brer Rabbit didn’t like that one bit, especially because Brer Wolf was going to take all of it.
Brer Rabbit walked around the cow slowly. He stooped down and sniffed at it. “Brer Wolf? That meat smell all right to you?”
Brer Wolf was steady cutting and carving. He knew what Brer Rabbit was up to. “Smells right fresh. Right fresh.”
Brer Rabbit walked around the carcass one more time, squeezing and patting the meat. “It feels flabby to me. How does it feel to you?”
Brer Wolf was steady cutting and carving. “Feels right fresh. Right fresh.”
Brer Rabbit got indignant. “I’m trying to be your friend and tell you a thing or two so’s you won’t die, but you ain’t got sense enough to pay me no mind.” He stomped off.
A little while later he came back with some fire and a dish of salt.
“What you up to, Brer Rabbit?” Brer Wolf asked suspiciously.
“I ain’t taking my share home until I know what’s wrong with it.”
Brer Rabbit built a fire and carved himself a nice steak. He put it over the fire until it was cooked the way he liked it – medium rare. He nibbled at it; he tasted it; and finally he started chewing. “Maybe I was wrong about this here meat,” he said, smacking his lips. He ate the whole thing. “I guess I was wrong, Brer Wolf,” he said when he finished, patting his stomach.
Brer Wolf was steady carving and cutting, but kept one eye on Brer Rabbit. Brer Rabbit was sitting on a stump like a judge on a bench.
Suddenly, he threw up his hands and groaned. He swayed backward and forward, groaning. He clutched at his stomach and rocked from side to side. “Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord!”
Brer Wolf stopped cutting. Brer Rabbit’s eyes began rolling around in his head. He screamed, fell on the ground, and began thrashing around. “I been poisoned! I been poisoned! Oh, Lordy! Run quick and get the doctor, Brer Wolf! Run quick!”
Brer Wolf got scared and ran for the doctor. But by the time he got back with the doctor, Brer Rabbit was gone. So was the meat. The only thing left was the bill, which the doctor slapped in his hand for wasting his time.
Wasn’t more than two, three days later when Brer Rabbit met up with Brer Wolf on the road to town. Brer Wolf acted like nothing was wrong.
“Say there, Brer Rabbit! How you be this morning?” Brer Wolf chuckled. “You ought to be ’shamed about the way you tricked me the other day.”
Brer Rabbit allowed as to how that was probably true. “How you be, Brer Wolf? How’s your folk?”
“Just fine.” Then he snarled, “And a whole lot better than you gon’ be before this day is over!”
Brer Wolf grabbed for Brer Rabbit. He ducked and off they went through the woods. Brer Wolf was pushing Brer Rabbit for all he was worth. Brer Rabbit began to feel the saliva from Brer Wolfs teeth dropping on his back. He headed for a hollow log he’d picked out for times just like this, a log with holes at both ends.
Brer Wolf saw Brer Rabbit go in, but didn’t see him go out. But Brer Rabbit didn’t stop to say goodbye either.
Brer Wolf sat down in front of the log to do some profound thinking about what to do to Brer Rabbit, and happened to see Brer Bear clearing new ground.
“Brer Bear! I got Brer Rabbit trapped. Go fetch me some fire!”
When Brer Bear came back with a firebrand, they put it to the log. After a while, it was nothing but ashes. Brer Wolf and Brer Bear smiled, slapped hands, and went home. Had the best sleep they’d had in years that night.
Next day, Brer Wolf went to visit Miz Meadows and the girls. When he got there, Brer Rabbit was sitting on the porch with his arms around them. Brer Wolf almost fainted.
Brer Rabbit wished him how-do and grinned like nothing had ever happened. “Come set a spell, Brer Wolf. Always good to see a good friend like you. Fact is, you a better friend than I ever realized.”
“How so?” Brer Wolf wanted to know, still not sure if he was talking to a ghost or if he had lost his mind.
“I was thinking about when you burned me up in that hollow log. When you get the time, I sho’ wish you’d do it again.”
“Brer Rabbit? One of us is crazy, and it ain’t me. What are you talking about?”
Brer Rabbit lowered his voice. “I don’t know if I can tell you. I don’t want the news to get out.”
“I won’t tell a soul on the top side of the world.”
Brer Rabbit thought for a minute. “All right.” He lowered his voice almost to a whisper. “When you get in a hollow log and somebody sets it on fire, honey oozes out all over you. That’s what keeps you from getting burned up. And then you got the job of licking all that honey off.” He chuckled. “That’s some job, ain’t it? So, please. When you get time, I got a nice hollow log picked out and it would be a favor to me if you’d burn me up again.”
“I got time right now,” said Brer Wolf.
“I knowed you was the kind of man I was looking for.”
Off they went. When they got there, Brer Wolf said Brer Rabbit owed him a favor.
“How so?”
“I burnt you up so you could get the honey. Now it’s your turn to burn me up.”
“That ain’t fair!” Brer Rabbit exclaimed. “I been looking forward to getting burned up in this log for days.”
They argued the matter back and over until Brer Rabbit relented. Brer Wolf crawled in the log. (This log wasn’t hollow at both ends.) Brer Rabbit got a pile of leaves and twigs, stuffed them in the log and put a match to them. Then he piled up rocks in the opening.
“Getting kinna warm in here, Brer Rabbit, and I don’t see no honey.”
“Don’t be in a hurry.”
The fire got to burning good and the wood was popping like a gun going off.
“Getting hot now, Brer Rabbit. I still don’t see no honey.”
“It’ll come, Brer Wolf. It’ll come.”
“I need some air! I’m choking!”
“Fresh air make honey sour. Don’t be in such a hurry.”
“It’s hot in here, Brer Rabbit!”
“That means it’s almost time for the honey to come.”
“Ow-Ow! I’m burning up, Brer Rabbit!”
“Wait for the honey, Brer Wolf!”
“Ow-ow! I can’t take it no more, Brer Rabbit!”
Brer Rabbit piled on some more leaves and wood. “I’ll give you honey. Same kind you wanted to give me.”
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