Brer Rabbit Gets the Money

Brer Rabbit was going along the road when Mr. Man came toward him with a wagon full of money. Now, this wasn’t the same Mr. Man whose garden Brer Rabbit had been in. Back in them times people looked alike to the animals, so they called all of them Mr. Man.

Mr. Man was going to town to put his money in the bank. He’d made so much money ’cause he’d had good luck, a long head, a quick eye, and slick fingers.

When Brer Rabbit saw Mr. Man with the wagon full of money he looked around and noticed that he didn’t have a wagon full of money. There was something wrong with that.If there wasn’t, he’d have the money and Mr. Man wouldn’t have any.

As the wagon got close, Brer Rabbit yelled out, “Hold up, Mr. Man! I need a ride.”

Mr. Man stopped his wagon. “How come you need a ride, Brer Rabbit? I’m going to town and you coming from town. We going in opposite directions.”

Brer Rabbit grinned. “I’m one of the old-time folks. I don’t care which way I’m going as long as I’m riding.”

Mr. Man told Brer Rabbit to hop up on the seat. Brer Rabbit allowed as to how he got seasick riding on a wagon seat and he’d just as soon get in back.

The wagon started down a bumpy hill and Mr. Man had to keep his eye on the horses. Brer Rabbit threw some money off and as it hit the ground, he hollered, “Ow!”

“What’s the matter?” asked Mr. Man.

“Nothing, except you bouncing this wagon so hard it almost knocked my jawbone loose.”

They went a little farther and Brer Rabbit flung some more money off, and as it hit the ground he hollered, “Blam!”

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, Mr. Man. I just saw a jaybird fly over and I was pretending like I had a gun.”

Brer Rabbit kept on throwing the money off until the wagon was empty. When they got close to town and Mr. Man looked in back, he almost fainted.

“Where’s my money? Where’s my money? Where’s my wagon full of pretty money? Where’s my money, Brer Rabbit?”

Brer Rabbit gazed around the wagon like he just noticed that the money was gone. Mr. Man was standing up, tearing his hair and screaming and yelling.

Brer Rabbit shook his head. “Mr. Man. If somebody came along and saw you, they’d think you’d lost your mind.” Brer Rabbit looked at the sky. “Sun getting kinna low. It’s time for me to be moving on. To tell the truth, Mr. Man, if I stay around here much longer, you be accusing me of taking your money. I appreciate the ride, though.”

Brer Rabbit hopped off and headed for home. Of course, on the way he picked up all the money. The thing I can’t understand is how come he left Mr. Man with his wagon and horses.

The Cradle Didn’t Rock

Mr. Man got sick and tired of Brer Rabbit and his tricks, so he built a trap to take care of him once and for all. Back in them days folks didn’t know too much about carpentering, since it had just been invented. They did the best they could, which wasn’t none too good if you want to know the truth. So Mr. Man’s trap was near about as big as a shed and way too big for Brer Rabbit.

He was making so much racket and doing so much cussing while he was building the trap that it attracted Brer Rabbit’s attention. Brer Rabbit couldn’t make no sense at all out of what Mr. Man was building, but he kept an eye on him. Don’t nobody be building nothing just ’cause it’s a sunny day.

When Mr. Man finished, he carried it out in the woods. Brer Rabbit watched Mr. Man put some bait in it and set the trigger. Mr. Man stepped back and smiled admiringly at his trap. Brer Rabbit smiled too.

Now he had a problem. How was he going to get something in the trap so Mr. Man wouldn’t be disappointed?

Brer Rabbit set off down the road. Before long he ran into Brer Wolf. They passed the time of day and when Brer Rabbit said he was troubled in his mind, Brer Wolf asked him how come.

“Nothing is going right these days. I just feel plumb wore out.”

Brer Wolf ’s eyes gleamed and his taste buds set to quivering. But he pretended to be sympathetic. “I ain’t never heard you talk this way, Brer Rabbit. Why don’t you tell me about it? Maybe it make you feel better to talk about it. If there’s anything I can do to help you out, I be glad to do it. I’ll put my heart into it too.” Brer Wolf grinned and his nose started twitching.

Brer Rabbit make like he don’t notice. “Well, I’ll tell you about it and see what you think. Mr. Man hired me to sit up nights and keep all the creatures and varmints out of his vegetable garden. He say I done such a good job that, in addition to all the greens I can eat from his garden everyday, he’d like to make me a cradle for my little ones. He give it to me this morning, but it’s so big and heavy, I had to leave it back yonder there in the woods. I just don’t know how I’m ever going to get it home.”

Brer Wolf was a little jealous. His ole woman had been on him about getting a cradle for their young’uns. “My wife say cradles is the latest fashion.”

“They is, but to tell the truth, I don’t care nothing about no cradle. I was only taking this one because Mr. Man was nice enough to make it for me.”

“Well, if you don’t want it, Brer Rabbit, I be glad to take it off your hands.”

Brer Rabbit thought about it for a minute. “Well, the cradle is too big for my young’uns anyway, and just about the right size for yours.”

Brer Rabbit took Brer Wolf to where Mr. Man had set the trap.

“There’s your cradle, Brer Wolf.”

Brer Wolf walked around it. “What’s that on the inside?”

“Them’s the rockers. It’s the latest fashion.”

Brer Wolf walked in the trap, sprung the trigger, and there he was.

Brer Rabbit laughed and ducked into the weeds, and not a minute too soon because Mr. Man came up the path to check on his trap. He looked through the slats and clapped his hands. “I got you now! I got you and you ain’t getting away this time.”

“Got who?” came Brer Wolfs mufled voice from inside. “Who you think you got?”

“I don’t think, ’cause I know! Brer Rabbit! That’s who!”

“Let me out of here and I’ll show you who I am.”

Mr. Man laughed and laughed. “You can’t change your voice and fool me, Brer Rabbit.”

“I ain’t Brer Rabbit.”

Mr. Man looked through the crack again and saw some short ears. “You may have cut off your ears, but I’d know you anywhere. And I see that you sharpened your teeth, but you can’t fool me.”

“Ain’t nobody trying to fool you, fool! I ain’t Brer Rabbit! Look at my nice, bushy tail.”

“Uh-huh. You went and tied a tail onto your behind, but you can’t fool me, Brer Rabbit.”

“I ain’t trying to fool you. Look at the hair on my back. That don’t look like Brer Rabbit, do it?”

“So you went and rolled in some red sand. You still Brer Rabbit!”

“Look at my black legs. Do they look like Brer Rabbit?”

“Naw, but you put smut on your legs to try and fool me.”

Brer Wolf was desperate now. “Look at my green eyes. Do they look like Brer Rabbit’s?”

“You can squinch your eyes and make ’em look any way you want, Brer Rabbit. But you can’t fool me.”

“I AIN’t BRER RABBIT! I AIN’t BRER RABBIT! AND YOU BETTER LET ME OUT OF HERE SO I CAN SKIN THE HIDE OFF BRER RABBIT MY OWNSELF!”

Mr. Man just laughed and laughed and po’ Brer Wolf sat down and cried like a little baby.

Brer Rabbit to the Rescue

Brer Fox was coming from town one evening when he saw Brer Turtle. He thought this was as good a time as any to grab Brer Rabbit’s best friend.

He was close to home so he ran, got a sack, and ran back, knowing Brer Turtle wouldn’t have covered more than two or three feet of ground.

Brer Fox didn’t even say how-do like the animals usually did, but just reached down, grabbed Brer Turtle, and flung him in the sack. Brer Turtle squalled and kicked and screamed. Brer Fox tied a knot in the sack and headed for home.

Brer Rabbit was lurking around Brer Fox’s watermelon patch, wondering how he was going to get one, when he heard Brer Fox coming, singing like he’d just discovered happiness. Brer Rabbit jumped into a ditch and hid.

“I wonder what’s in that sack Brer Fox got slung over his shoulder?” Brer Rabbit wondered. He wondered and he wondered, and the more he wondered, the more he didn’t know. He knew this much: Brer Fox had absolutely no business walking up the road singing and carrying something which nobody but him knew what it was.

Brer Rabbit went up to his house and yelled, “Hey, Brer Fox! Brer Fox! Come quick! There’s a whole crowd of folks down in your watermelon patch. They carrying off watermelons and tramping on your vines like it’s a holiday or something! I tried to get ’em out, but they ain’t gon’ pay a little man like me no mind. You better hurry!”

Brer Fox dashed out. Brer Rabbit chuckled and went inside.

He looked around until he saw the sack in the corner. He picked it up and felt it.

“Let me alone!” came a voice from inside. “Turn me loose! You hear me?”

Brer Rabbit dropped the sack and jumped back.

Then he laughed. “Only one man in the world can make a fuss like that and that’s Brer Turtle.”

“Brer Rabbit? That you?”

“It was when I got up this morning.”

“Get me out of here. I got dust in my throat and grit in my eye and I can’t breathe none too good either. Get me out, Brer Rabbit.”

“Tell me one thing, Brer Turtle. I can figure out how you got in the sack, but I can’t for the life of me figure how you managed to tie a knot in it after you was inside.”

Brer Turtle wasn’t in the mood for none of Brer Rabbit’s joking. “If you don’t get me out of this sack, I’ll tell your wife about all the time you spend with Miz Meadows and the girls.”

Brer Rabbit untied the sack in a hurry. He carried Brer Turtle out to the woods and looked around for a while.

“What you looking for, Brer Rabbit?”

“There it is!” Brer Rabbit exclaimed.

He took a hornet’s nest down from a tree and stuffed the opening with leaves. Then he took the nest to Brer Fox’s house and put it in the sack. He tied the sack tightly, then picked it up, flung it at the wall, dropped it on the floor, and swung it over his head a couple of times to get the hornets stirred up good. Then he put the sack back in the corner and ran to the woods where Brer Turtle was hiding.

A few minutes later Brer Fox came up the road, and he was angry! He stormed in the house. Brer Rabbit and Brer Turtle waited. All of a sudden they heard chairs falling, dishes breaking, the table turning over. It sounded like a bunch of cows was loose in the house.

Brer Fox came tearing through the door – and he hadn’t even stopped to open it. The hornets were on him like a second skin.

Yes, that was one day Brer Fox found out what pain and suffering is all about.