The Wee Bannock

J. Jacobs

Once upon a time there was an old man and his old wife who lived in a cottage. They had two cows, five hens, and a cock, a cat and two kittens. Now the old man looked after the cows, the cock looked after the hens, the cat looked after a mouse in the cupboard, and the two kittens looked after the old wife’s spindle. The old wife didn’t look after the kittens, the more she said, “Sho! Sho! Go away, kitty!” the more they looked after the spindle!

So, one day, when she was quite tired out with saying, “Sho! Sho!” the old wife felt hungry. She baked two wee oatmeal bannocks and set them to toast before the fire. Now just as they were toasting away, smelling so fresh and tasty, the old man came in. He took one of them and had piece out of it.

The other bannock thought it was high time to be off, so up it jumped and away it rolled as fast as ever it could. The old wife was not fast to catch it, so the wee bannock rolled down the hill till it came to a big house. It sat by the fireside quite comfortably. Now there were three tailors in the room working and they became terribly afraid.

“Hout-tout!” she cried. “What are you afraid of? It was nothing but a wee bannock. Just take it, and I’ll give you milk to drink with it.”

So they all wanted to take it, but it was too clever for them. The wee bannock got out at the doorway, they threw their scissors at it, but it dodged them and rolled away till it came to a small house. So in it ran and sat itself down by the fire. In the house there were a wife and a husband.

“Ah!” cried the husband. “What’s that?”

“Nothing but a wee bannock,” said she.

“Well, come and welcome,” said he, “grip it, woman! grip it!”

“All right,” said she, and reached out her hand to it. But the wee bannock just dodged.

“Man!” said she, “Catch it, man! Catch it if you can.”

But the wee bannock just dodged, it was out at the door, rolling away as fast as it could!

Finally it came to a house where the wife was cooking.

“Come in by,” cried the wife when she saw the wee bannock all crisp and fresh and tasty; “I’ve plenty cream to eat with you.”

But at this the wee bannock began dodging about, and it dodged so well that the goodwife couldn’t catch it. Again the wee bannock was off, rolling away down the hill till it came to a mill-house where the miller was. So in it ran and sat down.

“Ho, ho!” said the miller. “I like bannock and cheese for supper.” And with that he tapped his fat stomach.

At this the wee bannock turned and ran; it wasn’t going to trust itself with the miller and his cheese; and the miller just stood and stared. So the wee bannock rolled till it came to the smithy where the smith was making horseshoes.

“Hallo!” sais he, “you’re a well-toasted bannock. You’ll do fine with a glass of ale! So come in by.” And with that he laughed, and tapped his fat stomach.

But the wee bannock thought the ale was as bad as the cheese, so it went up and away. The smith threw his hammer at it. But the hammer missed and the wee bannock was out of sight in a crack. It rolled and rolled till it came to a farm-house. So it ran in to the fireside and began to toast itself again.

“Janet,” said the man, “it’s a well-toasted wee bannock. I’ll have the half of it.”

“And I’ll take the other half,” said the wife, and reached out a hand to grip it. But the wee bannock dodged again. It was too clever for them, so out it rolled through the door and away was it down the road. It came to another house where the wife was making a soup. So it rolled in, and sat down by the fire.

“Ho, Jock!” said the wife, “you’re always crying on a well-toasted bannock. Here’s one! Come and eat it!”

Then the wee bannock tried dodged again.

“Over there!” cried she. “Quick!” The wife threw the soupspoon at it, the wee bannock ran out in a crack and was away to the next house, where the family was having supper.

“Look!” cried she, “here’s a wee well-toasted bannock for the one who catches it!”

“Let’s shut the door first,” said the man, “before we try to grip it.”

Now when the wee bannock heard this it was time to be off, so away it rolled. They threw their spoons at it, and the man threw his best hat, the wee bannock was too clever for them, and was out of sight.

Then away it rolled till it came to a house where the family was going to their beds.

“What’s that?” said he, it was dark already.

“It’s just a wee bannock,” said she.

“I could eat the half of it,” said he.

“And I could eat the other,” answered she.

Then they tried to grip it, but the wee bannock tried dodging. And away it was.

The wee bannock, however, rolled on till it was too dark even for a wee bannock to see.

Then it came to a fox’s hole and rolled in to spend the night there. But the fox had had no meat for three whole days, so he just said, “You’re welcome, friend! I wish there were two of you!”

And there were two! The fox snapped the wee bannock into halves with one bite. So that was an end of it!

The Three Fools

There was once a pretty girl, the daughter of a rich man. She was loved by an honest young fellow named John. At last they decided to get married.

One day as the girl’s father was working in his garden he sat down to rest himself by the well, and, looking in, and seeing how deep it was, he started thinking.

“If Jane had a child,” said he to himself, “who knows but that one day it might play about here and fall in and be killed?”

The thought of such a thing filled him with sorrow, and he sat crying into the well for some time until his wife came to him.

“What is the matter?” asked she. “What are you crying for?”

Then the man told her his thoughts.

“If Jane marries and has a child,” said he, “who knows but it might play about here and someday fall into the well and be killed?”

“I never thought of that before. It is, indeed, possible,” cried the woman.

So she sat down and cried with her husband.

The daughter shortly came to look for them, and when she found them sitting crying into the well.

“What is the matter?” asked she. “Why do you weep?”

So her father told her of the thought that had struck him.

“Yes,” said she, “it might happen.”

So she too sat down with her father and mother, and wept into the well.

They had sat there a good while when John comes to them.

“What has made you so sad?” asked he.

So the father told him what had happened, and said that he should be afraid to let him have his daughter seeing her child might fall into the well.

“You are three fools,” said the young man, when he had heard him to an end. Leaving he thought over whether he should try to marry Jane or not. Finally he decided that he would marry her if he could find three people more foolish than her and her father and mother. He put on his boots and went out.

“I will walk till I wear these boots out,” said he, “and if I find three more foolish people before I am barefoot, I will marry her.”

So he went on, and walked very far till he came to a barn, at the door of which stood a man with a shovel in his hands. He seemed to be working very hard.

“What are you doing?” asked John.

“I am shoveling in the sunbeams,” replied the man, “to ripen the corn.”

“Why don’t you have the corn out in the sun for it to ripen it?” asked John.

“Good,” said the man. “Why, I never thought of that! Good luck to you, for you have saved me many a day’s work.”

“That’s fool number one,” said John, and went on.

He travelled a long way, until one day he came to a cottage, against the wall of it was placed a ladder. And a man was trying to pull a cow up it by means of a rope, one end of which was round the cow’s neck.

“What are you doing?” asked John.

“Why,” replied the man, “I want the cow up on the roof to eat off that fine tuft of grass you see growing there.”

“Why don’t you cut the grass and give it to the cow?” asked John.

“Why, now, I never thought of that!” answered the man. “So I will, of course, and many thanks, I have killed several cows in trying to get it up there.”

“That’s fool number two,” said John to himself.

He walked on a long way, thinking there were more fools in the world than he had thought, and wondering what would be the next one he should meet. He had to wait a long time, however, and to walk very far, and his boots were almost worn out before he found another.

One day, however, he came to a field, in the middle of which he saw a pair of trousers standing up, being held up by sticks. A man was running about them and jumping over and over them.

“Hallo!” cried John. “What are you doing?”

“Why,” said the man, “don’t you see I want to get the trousers on?” so saying he took two or three more runs and jumps, but always jumped either to this side or that of the trousers.

“Why don’t you take the trousers and draw them on?” asked John.

“Good,” said the man. “Why, I never thought of it! Many thanks. I only wish you had come before, for I have lost a lot of time trying to jump into them.”

“That,” said John, “is fool number three.”

So, as his boots were not yet quite worn out, he returned to his home and went again to ask Jane of her father and mother. At last they gave her to him, and they lived very happily together, for John had a rail put round the well and the child did not fall into it.