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Miz Meadows and the girls might have been good-looking and pleasant to be around, but there wasn’t nobody as pretty as King Deer’s daughter. Miz Meadows and the girls couldn’t hold a candle to her. She had long black hair and a complexion the color of nutmeg. I won’t go into no more details ’cause you too young to be hearing too much.
Both Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit wanted to marry her and they set to courting. One of them was always at her house, and most of the time they were both there. After observing the two of them for a while, King Deer started to favor Brer Fox. He seemed more serious and responsible than Brer Rabbit. Brer Rabbit didn’t like that one bit and knew he had to change King Deer’s mind.
He was going through King Deer’s pasture one day and threw some rocks at two of King Deer’s goats and killed them. When he got to King Deer’s house, Brer Rabbit asked him, “When is the wedding going to be?”
“What wedding?” King Deer wanted to know.
“The one between your daughter and Brer Fox.”
King Deer hadn’t put out any news about a wedding. “What you talking about, Brer Rabbit?”
“I thought there was going to be a wedding. I saw Brer Fox down in your pasture throwing rocks at the chickens and killing your goats. I knew he wouldn’t be making free with your animals like that if he wasn’t going to be a member of your family.”
King Deer shook his head. “Brer Rabbit, you don’t expect me to believe a tale like that, do you?”
Brer Rabbit shrugged. “Go down to the pasture and see for yourself.”
King Deer did, and when he came back he was mad.
Brer Rabbit said, “Now hold on, King Deer. A man shouldn’t be too hasty. Don’t do nothing to Brer Fox before you sure he the one. Let me talk to him. We’re good friends. If he killed your goats, I know I can get him to tell it.”
King Deer said, “If you man enough to do something like that, you can marry my daughter.”
Brer Rabbit didn’t need to hear another word and he set off to find Brer Fox. He didn’t go far, because Brer Fox was coming up the road on his way to King Deer’s house. He had on his best Sears suit and was looking sharp.
“Where you going?” Brer Rabbit wanted to know.
“Out of my way, Rabbit. I’m going to see my girl.”
“That’s nice. King Deer told me you were going to marry his daughter.”
Brer Fox swelled up so with pride that he popped one of the buttons on his fly.
Brer Rabbit smiled. “King Deer asked me to come around tonight and serenade his daughter as part of the celebration. I told him that you was a music man, too, and how it would be good if I could get you to help with the serenading.”
So Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox went off in the woods to practice. Brer Rabbit played the quills, which is what they called pipes back in them times, and Brer Fox played the triangle. Brer Rabbit made up a song for him and Brer Fox to sing. They practiced all through the day, and when night came they went to King Deer’s house.
King Deer and his daughter were setting on the porch. Brer Rabbit looked at Brer Fox, counted off the beat, and they started into playing. After they played a tune or two, it was time for the song. Brer Rabbit began singing:
Some folks pile up more than they can tote,
And that’s what the matter with King Deer’s goat.
Brer Fox sang out:
That’s so, that’s so, and I’m glad that it’s so.
Then Brer Rabbit blew on the quills and Brer Fox played the triangle and Brer Rabbit sang the next verse:
Some kill sheep and some kill shoats,
But Brer Fox kill King Deer’s goats.
King Deer didn’t need to hear another word. He came off the porch and went upside Brer Fox’s head with his walking stick, and Brer Fox took off down the road.
King Deer’s daughter invited Brer Rabbit to sit a while with her. Now, some say they got married. Some say they didn’t. I don’t know, and to tell the truth, don’t much care, ’cause that ain’t what the story was about. If you worried about it, make up your own story.
Like I said at the beginning, if there was one thing the animals agreed on, it was partying. If the sun came up on time, they had a party! If the rain was wet, they partied! If the grass was green, they partied!
One day Brer Fox decided to have a party because it was Tuesday. He invited Brer Bear, Brer Wolf, Brer Coon, and some of the other animals, but he didn’t invite Brer Rabbit.
The animals got to Brer Fox’s and he poured the liquor, turned on the radio, and the animals got to dancing and drinking and telling jokes and just having a good time.
Quite naturally, Brer Rabbit heard about the party and decided to invite himself. He went up to the attic of his house and got an old drum he had and headed to Brer Fox’s.
The animals had just started partying good when all of a sudden they heard this noise like thunder mixed with hail – Diddybum, diddybum, diddybum-bum-bum-bum – diddybum!
Brer Coon, who always had one ear out the window, said, “Turn down that radio, y’all!”
Diddybum, diddybum, diddybum-bum-bum – diddybum!
“What’s that?” Brer Coon wanted to know.
Diddybum, diddybum, diddybum-bum-bum – diddybum!
Brer Coon reached under his chair for his hat. “Well, gentlemen, I believe it’s time I headed for home. I told the ole lady that I wouldn’t be gone more than a minute and here it is getting on toward moon-up.” He started toward the door, walking slow, like he was cool. By the time he reached the back gate, here come the other animals with Brer Fox in the lead. Them animals kicked up a small dust storm getting into the woods.
Brer Rabbit came on toward the house – Diddybum, diddybum, diddybum-bum-bum – diddybum! When he got there, everybody was gone. Brer Rabbit kicked open the door, walked in and hollered, “Brer Fox! Where you at?”
Wasn’t no answer and Brer Rabbit laughed. He sat down in Brer Fox’s easy chair, spit on the floor, and laughed some more.
He looked around and saw the liquor sitting on the sideboard. He poured himself a drink. Then he poured himself another one. Before long Brer Rabbit was feeling mighty good.
Meanwhile the animals was down there in the woods listening for the diddy-bum. They didn’t hear it for a long while, and Brer Fox, feeling kind of foolish now, said, “Come on. Let’s get back to the party. Brer Coon come scaring us for nothing.”
They headed back to the house real slowlike. Fact of the matter is, they creeped back. If somebody had shook a bush, them animals would’ve jumped out of their skins.
They peeped in the windows and saw Brer Rabbit standing by the sideboard drinking like liquor was about to be outlawed. By now he wasn’t none too steady on his legs and Brer Fox saw his chance.
He bust in the door. “I got you now, Brer Rabbit! I got you now!” Him and the other animals surrounded Brer Rabbit.
Brer Rabbit was a long way from being drunk, but he pretended he was drunker than he was. He staggered around the room the way a butterfly go through the air. He looked at Brer Fox kinna cross-eyed, slapped him on the back, and hollered, “How’s your mama?” And he giggled.
Brer Fox was ready to get down to business, the business being what they were going to do with Brer Rabbit. Brer Bear was the judge among all the animals, so he put on his glasses and cleared his throat.
“According to the law, the best way to deal with a creature that has been a pest in the community like Brer Rabbit is to drown him.” And saying that, he took off his glasses.
Brer Fox, who was the jury foreman, clapped his hands and say he sho’ nuf like the law. So it was agreed to drown Brer Rabbit in the creek.
Brer Rabbit didn’t like that idea at all. He started trembling and hollered out in a pitiful voice, “In the name of goodness, please don’t fling me in the creek! Y’all know I can’t swim. If you gon’ throw me in the creek, then have some pity on me and let me have a walking stick so’s I can have something to hold onto while I drown.”
Brer Fox looked at Brer Bear. Brer Bear put his glasses back on, scratched his head, mumbled to himself, and said, finally, “Well, I don’t remember nothing in the law that would be against it.” And he took his glasses off.
They gave Brer Rabbit a walking stick, carried him down to the creek and threw him in. Brer Rabbit landed on his feet, and using the stick, walked across. It wasn’t no more than knee-deep to begin with.
When Brer Rabbit got to the other side, he hollered back, “I sho’ wish you’d stop buying that cheap liquor, Brer Fox!” And with that, he was gone!
You remember how Brer Rabbit tricked Brer Bear into getting tied in the tree? Well, after that, Brer Bear decided to find a job. He finally got one as the ferryman on the big river. Before long all the animals agreed that Brer Bear had natural talent for the job. He could take the ferry back and forth across the river so smooth you didn’t even know you were moving.
Once Mr. Man came down to the ferry with a mare and a colt. Brer Bear let down the plank for the mare and the colt to come aboard. That was where the trouble started.
Mr. Man got in front to lead the mare on. She went halfway and balked. Mr. Man pulled and the mare dug in her hind legs. Mr. Man pushed and the mare dug in her front legs. Mr. Man tried to ride her on board. She dug in both legs and you’d of thought she’d suddenly turned to stone. The colt thought Mr. Man was trying to do something to its mama, and it started running around like a pig with hot dishwater on its back.
Mr. Man decided to study on the situation for a while. He studied. Brer Bear sat down next to him and he studied. Between the two of them they didn’t get one idea.
Finally Brer Bear decided to give up thinking. It had never been one of his virtues anyway. He looked around and saw Brer Rabbit sitting on a stump, laughing and holding his sides.
Brer Bear went over to him. “What’s so funny?”
“You and Mr. Man,” Brer Rabbit said.
“Instead of sitting here laughing at us, why don’t you help us get that mare and colt on the ferry? With three of us working at it, we could get ’em on.”
Brer Rabbit shook his head. “How come I want to do that? I wouldn’t have nothing to laugh at.” And Brer Rabbit broke up again.
Brer Bear gave a dry grin and started to walk away.
“Hold up there, Brer Bear!” Brer Rabbit called to him. “I guess I done laughed enough. Getting that mare and that colt on the ferry is easy as going to sleep in a swing.”
Brer Bear said, “If you help us get that colt on the ferry, I’ll do anything you want me to.”
Brer Rabbit shrugged. “All you got to do is pick up the colt and put it on. Its mama will just naturally follow.”
Brer Bear went wobbling back to the ferry, picked up the colt and put it on. Just like Brer Rabbit had said, the mare walked on the ferryboat like she’d been born there.
Mr. Man wanted to know how he’d figured that out. Brer Bear told him that Brer Rabbit had done the figuring. “Brer Rabbit is something else!” Brer Bear exclaimed proudly. “He’s not only the smartest one of all us animals. He’s even smarter than people. Can’t nobody fool him and can’t nobody outdo him.”
Mr. Man didn’t like that. “We’ll see about that. I be back in a day or two and I bet you a pot of honey against a dish of cream that I can outdo Brer Rabbit.”
Brer Bear smiled. “That’s a bet!”
A couple of days later Mr. Man came back and he had two mares with him. Them two mares looked exactly alike. They were the same color, same size, and even had the same gait.
After Brer Bear had ferried Mr. Man across, Mr. Man said, “One of these mares is the mama and the other one is the daughter. Now, go get Brer Rabbit and ask him to tell me which is which.”
Brer Bear looked at the two mares and he was sorry he had made the bet. Wasn’t no way Brer Rabbit was going to be able to tell which was which. He shook his head.
Mr. Man laughed. “Give me my dish of cream!”
But Brer Bear could smell the pot of honey Mr. Man had in his saddlebags.
“Give me my dish of cream!” Mr. Man repeated.
Brer Bear wasn’t going to give up a dish of cream just like that. He went up on the hill and called Brer Rabbit. Brer Rabbit had been staying in the vicinity, waiting for Mr. Man to come back, so he came running.
“I apologize, Brer Rabbit, for getting you into all this. I just hope you won’t be too mad at me.” He explained the puzzle to Brer Rabbit. Brer Rabbit chuckled.
“Brer Bear, tell you what you do. Get two bunches of grass and put them in front of the mares.”
Brer Bear did as Brer Rabbit told him. Brer Rabbit watched as the mares started eating. One mare ate all her grass first and started to eating the other mare’s grass. That mare held up her head so the first mare could eat that grass too.
“The one holding up her head is the mama,” said Brer Rabbit.
Mr. Man’s mouth fell open. “That’s right! How did you know?”
“Easy. The youngest one eats the fastest, being young and all. Being the youngest, she’s also the hungriest. And the mama stopped eating hers so that the youngest could have that too.”
Mr. Man was astonished, but he still wasn’t satisfied that a rabbit could be smarter than a person. He gave Brer Bear the pot of honey.
“I bet you another pot of honey that I can fool Brer Rabbit!”
“Bet!” said Brer Bear, licking at the honey pot.
“Y’all wait right here.”
Mr. Man went off. In a little while he was back carrying a basket. He held the basket up high so Brer Rabbit couldn’t see inside and then hung it in a tree limb.
“Now! Tell me what’s in the basket, Brer Rabbit.” Mr. Man knowed he had him this time.
Brer Rabbit looked at the basket for a long time, and finally said, “The sparrow can tell you.”
Mr. Man like to have fainted. “What kind of creature are you?” he wanted to know. “You must be a hoodoo man.” He took the basket out of the tree and there was a gray sparrow inside. He gave Brer Bear another pot of honey and shook his head at Brer Rabbit. “You one of these graveyard rabbits. I’m gon’ stay away from you.”
After Mr. Man was gone, Brer Bear turned to Brer Rabbit. ‘Tell me, sho’ nuf Brer Rabbit. How did you know there was a sparrow in there?”
Brer Rabbit laughed. “I didn’t. What I said was that only a sparrow could tell, because only a sparrow could fly high enough to see down in the basket.”
Brer Rabbit laughed and Brer Bear laughed and they both agreed that the honey was sho’ nuf good.
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