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When the animals started living here on Earth, something seemed to happen to them. Where before they had gotten along with each other, now they started having little arguments and disagreements. It was only a matter of time before they weren’t much different from people.
Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit were sitting alongside the road one day talking about much of nothing when they heard a strange sound – blim, blim, blim.
“What’s that?” Brer Fox wanted to know. He didn’t know whether to get scared or not.
“That?” answered Brer Rabbit. “Sound like Sister Goose.”
“What she be doing?”
“Battling clothes,” said Brer Rabbit.
I know you don’t know what I’m talking about. You take your clothes to the Laundromat, or have a washing machine and dryer sitting right in the house. Way back yonder folks took their clothes down to the creek or stream or what’nsoever, got them real wet, laid’em across a big rock or something, took a stick and beat the dirt out of them. You don’t know nothing about no clean clothes until you put on some what been cleaned with a battlin’ stick.
Well, when Brer Fox heard that Sister Goose was down at the stream, his eyes got big and Brer Rabbit knew his mind had just gotten fixed on supper. Brer Fox said he reckoned he better be getting home. Brer Rabbit said he supposed he should do the same, and they went their separate ways.
Brer Rabbit doubled back, however, and went down to the stream where Sister Goose was.
“How you today, Sister Goose?”
“Just fine, Brer Rabbit. Excuse me for not shaking hands with you, but I got all these suds on my hands.”
Brer Rabbit said he understood.
I suppose I got to stop the story, ’cause I can hear you thinking that a goose don’t have hands. And next thing I know you be trying to get me to believe that snakes don’t have feet and cats don’t have wings, and I know better! So, if you don’t mind, you can keep your thoughts to yourself and I’ll get back to the story.
After Brer Rabbit and Sister Goose had finished exchanging the pleasantries of the day, Brer Rabbit said, “I got to talk with you about Brer Fox. He’s coming for you, Sister Goose, and it’ll probably be before daybreak.”
Sister Goose got all nervous and scared. “What am I gon’ do, Brer Rabbit? My husband is dead and ain’t no man around the house. What am I gon’ do?”
Brer Rabbit thought for a minute. “Take all your clothes and roll ’em up in a nice clean white sheet and put that on your bed tonight. Then you go spend the night up in the rafters.”
So, that’s what Sister Goose did. But she also sent for her friend, Brer Dog, and asked him if he’d keep watch that night. He said he’d be glad to.
Just before daybreak Brer Fox creeped up to the house, looked around, eased the front door open and slipped inside. He saw something big and white on the bed. He grabbed it and ran out the door. Soon as he jumped off the porch, Brer Dog came out from under the house growling and scratching up dirt. Brer Fox dropped that bundle of clothes like it was a burning log and took off! It’s a good thing, too, ’cause it had taken Brer Dog four months to find somebody who could wash and iron his pajamas as good as Sister Goose, and he wasn’t about to let nothing happen to her.
Next day when the news got around that Brer Fox had tried to steal Sister Goose’s laundry, he couldn’t go nowhere for a week. Brer Fox blamed Brer Dog for spreading the news through the community, and ever since that day, the Dog and the Fox haven’t gotten along with each other.
Brer Fox couldn’t prove it, but he knew Brer Rabbit had warned Sister Goose he was coming, and he made up his mind to get even. Brer Rabbit got word about what Brer Fox was thinking on, so he stayed away from his regular habitats for a while.
On this particular day he was somewhere up around Lost Forty and saw a great big Horse laying dead out in a pasture. Or he thought it was dead until he saw the Horse’s tail switch.
Brer Rabbit went on his way, but who should he see coming toward him but Brer Fox!
“Brer Fox! Brer Fox! Come here! Quick! I got some good news! Come here!”
Brer Fox didn’t care what kind of good news Brer Rabbit had. The good news was that he had found that rabbit! Just as Brer Fox got in grabbing distance, Brer Rabbit said:
“Come on, Brer Fox! I done found how we can have enough fresh meat to last us until the middle of next Septerrary.”
Brer Fox, being a prudent man, thought he should check this out. “What you talking about, Brer Rabbit?”
“I just found a Horse laying on the ground where we can catch him and tie him up.”
Sounded good to Brer Fox. “Let’s go!”
Brer Rabbit led him over to the pasture, and sho’ nuf, there was the Horse laying on the ground like he was waiting for them. Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox got to talking about how to tie him up. They argued back and forth for a while until finally Brer Rabbit said:
“Listen. I tell you the way we do it. I’ll tie you to his tail and when he tries to get up, you can hold him down. If I was a big strong man like you, I’d do it, and you know, if I was to hold him, he would be held. But I ain’t got your strength. Of course, if you scared to do it, then I reckon we got to come up with another plan.”
There was something about the plan that Brer Fox didn’t like, but he couldn’t think of what it was. Not wanting Brer Rabbit to think he wasn’t strong and brave, he said O.K.
Brer Rabbit tied him to the Horse’s tail. “Brer Fox! That Horse don’t know it, but he caught!” Brer Fox grinned weakly.
Brer Rabbit got him a great, long switch and hit the Horse on the rump – POW! The Horse jumped up and landed on his feet and there was Brer Fox, dangling upside down in the air, too far off the ground for peace of mind.
“Hold ’im down, Brer Fox! Hold ’im down!”
The Horse felt something on his tail. He started jumping and raring and bucking and Brer Fox knew now what was wrong with Brer Rabbit’s idea.
“Hold ’im down, Brer Fox! Hold ’im down!”
The Horse jumped and twirled and snorted and bucked, but Brer Fox hung on.
“Hold ’im down, Brer Fox! Hold ’im down!”
One time Brer Fox managed to shout back, “If I got him down, who got hold of me?”
But Brer Rabbit just yelled, “Hold ’im down, Brer Fox! You got him now! Hold ’im down!”
The Horse started kicking with his hind legs and Brer Fox slid down the tail. The Horse kicked him in the stomach once, twice, three times, and Brer Fox went sailing through the air. It was a week and four days before Brer Fox finally come to earth, which gave him a whole lot of time to realize that Brer Rabbit had bested him again.
It took Brer Fox a while to recuperate, but that gave him a lot of time to scheme and plan on how he was going to get Brer Rabbit.
The very first day Brer Fox was up and about, he sauntered down the road. Coming toward him looking as plump and fat as a Christmas turkey was Brer Rabbit.
“Just a minute there!” Brer Fox said as Brer Rabbit started to walk past without speaking.
“I’m busy,” said Brer Rabbit. “I’m full of fleas today and got to go to town and get some ointment.”
“This won’t take more than a minute,” Brer Fox answered, falling into step beside him.
“All right. What’s on your mind?”
Brer Fox gave a sheepish grin. “Well, Brer Rabbit. I saw Brer Bear yesterday and he said I ought to make friends with you. I felt so bad when he finished with me that I promised I’d make up with you the first chance I got.”
Brer Rabbit scratched his head real slow like. “Awright, Brer Fox. I believe Brer Bear got a point. To show you I mean business, why don’t you drop over to the house tomorrow and take supper with me and the family?”
Next day Brer Rabbit helped his wife fix up a big meal of cabbages, roasting ears, and sparrow grass. Long about supper time the children came in the house all excited, hollering, “Here come Brer Fox!”
Brer Rabbit told them to sit down to the table, mind their manners, and be quiet. He wanted everything to be just right. So everybody sat down and waited for Brer Fox to knock on the door. They waited a long time, but no knock came.
“Are you sure that was Brer Fox you saw coming up the road?” he asked his children.
“We sure. He was drooling at the mouth.”
No mistake. That was Brer Fox.
Brer Rabbit got out of his chair very quietly and cracked the door open. He peeped one of his eyeballs out. He rolled his eyeballs from one side of the yard to the other until they stopped on a bush that looked like it was growing a fox’s tail. Fox’s tail! Brer Rabbit slammed the door real quick.
Next day Brer Fox sent word by Brer Mink that he had been low-down sick the day before and was sorry he couldn’t come. To make up for it, he’d sho’ be pleased if Brer Rabbit would take supper with him that very same evening.
When the shadows were at their shortest, Brer Rabbit went over to Brer Fox’s. He’d scarcely set one foot on the porch when he heard groaning from inside. He opened the door and saw Brer Fox sitting in his rocking chair, a blanket over his shoulder, looking like Death eating soda crackers in the graveyard. Brer Rabbit looked around and didn’t see any supper on the stove. He did notice the butcher knife and roasting pan on the counter, however.
“Looks like you planning on us having chicken for supper, Brer Fox,” says Brer Rabbit like nothing was wrong.
“Sho’ nuf,” says Brer Fox.
“You know what goes good with chicken, Brer Fox?”
“What’s that?”
“Calamus root! Seems like I can’t eat chicken no other way nowadays.” And before Brer Fox could blink, Brer Rabbit was out the door and into the bushes where he hid to see if Brer Fox was sho’ nuf sick.
A minute later Brer Fox come out on the porch looking as healthy as a rat in a tuxedo. Brer Rabbit stuck his head out of the bushes and said, “I leave you some calamus root right here, Brer Fox. You ought to try it with your chicken tonight!”
Brer Fox leaped off the porch and took off after Brer Rabbit, but that rabbit was halfway to Philly-Me-York before Brer Fox’s claws touched the ground. All Brer Fox had for supper that night was an air sandwich.
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