И слеза поведет слепца

С точки зрения фрейдистской концепции ошибочного действия, которая замечательно иллюстрирует идеи данной книги, Макс Бирбом рассказал историю о том, как, когда он был школьником, один мальчик должен был переводить Еврипида и, сомневаясь, предложил (абсолютно неверный) перевод: «И слеза поведет слепца». Эта строка нашла в нем отклик, побудив впоследствии написать вслед за Йетсом:

 

«С одиноких холмов, где бродит Фергус,

Вдоль длинных долин Кунахана

Придет белый ветер беспокойными тропами,

И слеза поведет слепца».

 

Итак, в заключение данной книги я хотел бы сделать особый акцент на отношениях между стыдом, эдипальными конфликтами, тревогой по поводу облика и печалью. Люди, у которых тревога по поводу облика и страх исчезновения являются характерными чертами взаимоотношений, с трудом дают выход болезненным чувствам (например, печали). Неспособность нарциссической личности реагировать на чувства окружающих заставляет ее отказаться от слез и создает серьезные препятствия процессу скорби, от чего зависит способность переносить потерю и печаль. Также неспособность плакать указывает на некое глубокое чувство безжизненности, следствие жестокого и беспощадного вытеснения, которое является первичной защитой человека от травмы и от стыда за то, что окружающие увидят твои раны. Маттиа Паскаль хотел устранить любое напоминание о себе. Он сбрил бороду и усы, что символизировало трансформацию. Горевание и скорбь, вместе с пониманием эдипальных конфликтов и динамики стыда, а также способы, которыми они укрепляют уверенность во внешнем облике, являются, как я думаю, основополагающими для проработки циклов ядовитого стыда. Таким же образом, неспособность печалиться усиливает не только ядовитый стыд, но и ярость, отчаяние, тревогу из-за внешнего вида, а также побуждаемые стыдом садо-мазохистические циклы, которые, в применении к общественным деятелям вроде Гитлера или Сталина, могут повлечь за собой непредсказуемые катастрофы.

Чем сильнее фантазии о контроле над внешним обликом (например, в ситуации с фотографиями Сталина), тем сильнее потребность контролировать чувства. Тем более жестокие и подавляющие силы задействуются против печали, тем жестче собственные нормы существования и тем больше человек вынуждает других быть такими, чтобы он мог воспринимать их как репрессивную силу (например, супруги или друзья, которые наверняка будут функционировать как подавляющие). Другими словами, тем больше человек будет зависеть от окружающих, чтобы не понимать неприемлемых для него чувств. Эрзилия полагается на других в том, что они не будут видеть ее, и тогда ей не придется видеть саму себя. Когда она все же открывает себя, то понимает, что умирает, и делает это в ярости, с явным выражением протеста и отчаяния. Сюзен «сломалась», когда не смогла контролировать свой внешний вид, и в итоге обнаружила, что смотрит в зеркало на человека без лица. Сэм, лишившись надежды контролировать собственный облик, фантазировал о своей невидимости, чтобы никто не мог лицезреть его в невыгодном свете, или о том, чтобы быть шпионом – тройным агентом, которого никто не мог бы обнаружить. Однако у динамики стыда есть и другая сторона. Как отмечает Вермсер, стыд может вызвать ощущение героического превосходства.

Чтобы подвести черту истории об Эдипе, позвольте мне привести следующие строки Эндрю Марвелла, для которого способность плакать – это способность видеть:

 

«Сколь мудро это устроенье,

Что для рыданья и для зренья

Одной и той же парой глаз

Природа наградила нас…

 

 

Одни людские очи годны

Для требы этой благородной:

Способна всяка тварь взирать,

Но только человек – рыдать.

 

 

В бурлящем омуте глубоком

Смешайтесь вновь, поток с истоком,

Чтоб все слилось в один хаос

Глаз плачущих и зрячих слез!»

 

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